People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment - doing things they like to do - rather than doing things they should do."
Personal enjoyment is necessary for any person. But it should not be at the cost of other things. I would agree with this statement that now a days people spend more time in doing the things they like to do instead of the things they should do. There are few reasons that a person should not spend much time on the personal enjoyment.
On of the main reason is that the peronal enjoyment things may cost huge money . There are a wide range of activities a person can do for personal enjoyment like painting, going to movie, doing adventurous things like kayaking, sailing, hiking, skiing etc. These activities are not cheap. Their equipments, registration fees costs a person large amount of mone. For example one of my friend is fond of skiing. In winter he goes to go for various places in the world for sking. He does skiing for only fun and entertainmet. The tickets for traveling to various countries and fees for sking cost him so much that he has to take loans from friends. So personal enjoyment is good but until certain limits and only when it is in your budget.
The other reason is that the things which we like to do costs time as well. When we are doing the thing which is our hobby, we simply loose the track of the time and miss the essential work which is more important at that moment. For example, As a child I used to love painting. Intially it was like a time pass thing as a hobby. But gradually I became so obsessed with it that I used to paint whole day. Due to this my grades of the mid term exam in fifth standard were affected very badly. Finally, I had to stop painitng and study very hard to get good score in the final examination. Thus, one should concentrate more on the things that are important at that time in their life.
In sum, In my view people should not spend too much time on personal enjoyment. The things which we like to do sometimes cost too much money and time. These will affect us not only in recent future but far down in the life as well. Thus, A person should prioritize the things which are important for their life first and constrate on them. While few times in a year and in the spare time they should do the things they like to do.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 138, Rule ID: NOW_A_DAYS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nowadays'?
Suggestion: nowadays
... I would agree with this statement that now a days people spend more time in doing the thi...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 79, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...nal enjoyment things may cost huge money . There are a wide range of activities a ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, may, so, thus, well, while, as to, for example, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 43.0788530466 102% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1785.0 1977.66487455 90% => OK
No of words: 412.0 407.700716846 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.33252427184 4.8611393121 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.23852989029 2.67179642975 84% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.46359223301 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 542.7 618.680645161 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.4215083442 48.9658058833 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 68.6538461538 100.406767564 68% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.8461538462 20.6045352989 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.19230769231 5.45110844103 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.478458241998 0.236089414692 203% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.129436981523 0.076458572812 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.165013285503 0.0737576698707 224% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.362219227216 0.150856017488 240% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.173541277001 0.0645574589148 269% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 6.9 11.7677419355 59% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 81.63 58.1214874552 140% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 5.6 10.1575268817 55% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 7.54 10.9000537634 69% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.41 8.01818996416 80% => OK
difficult_words: 53.0 86.8835125448 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.