When schools do not have enough funding or teachers, some people think physical education classes should be cut, while others believe that courses in art and music should be eliminated first. Which do you think is preferable, and why?
children need to be educated in every aspect as much as possible. however, sometimes schools are not capable to offer all of them due to financial struggles. personally, I believe that it is better to dismiss physical education classes rather than music and art courses. I feel this way for two reasons.
First of all, music and art education is not something every student have a chance to access. On the other hand, physical activities are quite common and do not require practice as much as music and art. For example, children may have a chance to teach each other how to play soccer in their break times after school. however, it is very difficult to get an art education outside of the school since they are very expensive. it would be more appropriate to provide an artistic education for children considering their families financial situations.
Secondly, music and art facilities improve the intellectuality of children. According to scientific researches, music has a positive contribution to the learning process of children. it increases neurological communication in the brain that helps children to understand better. On the other hand, art and drawing are beneficial for children to express themselves better which has a huge impact o their personality development.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that it is better to keep music and art courses if there is not enough funding to keep classes. this is because private music and art courses are expensive for families and because they have a great contribution to children's intellectuality.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Children
children need to be educated in every aspect as ...
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Line 1, column 67, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ed in every aspect as much as possible. however, sometimes schools are not capable to o...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 159, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Personally
...all of them due to financial struggles. personally, I believe that it is better to dismiss...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 319, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ccer in their break times after school. however, it is very difficult to get an art edu...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 426, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...e school since they are very expensive. it would be more appropriate to provide an...
^^
Line 5, column 184, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...on to the learning process of children. it increases neurological communication in...
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Line 7, column 132, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... is not enough funding to keep classes. this is because private music and art course...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, for example, i feel, in conclusion, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 43.0788530466 46% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 52.1666666667 61% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1313.0 1977.66487455 66% => OK
No of words: 256.0 407.700716846 63% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12890625 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.0 4.48103885553 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99170555437 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 141.0 212.727598566 66% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.55078125 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 418.5 618.680645161 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.1506432176 48.9658058833 60% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 87.5333333333 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0666666667 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.93333333333 5.45110844103 146% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.226511017883 0.236089414692 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0765089674152 0.076458572812 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0513372150093 0.0737576698707 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138030133571 0.150856017488 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0467937203126 0.0645574589148 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.18 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 86.8835125448 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
More content wanted.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.