money
In modern society, books or TV programs about successful businessman are becoming increasingly prevalent since people want to learn something about how to achieve success from them. when it comes to which is the original purpose of earning money, some people hold the view that people care more about public recognition than about money, even if no more money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder. As far as I am concerned, this statement works only when people already have enough money.
To begin with, money is absolutely the fundamental demand of our daily lives. In this contemporary society, most of the stuffs we need require money, without which life can hardly operate. In addition, as mature individuals, we own the responsibility to take care of our families and provide them with a high quality life. during the period of inflation, more money is required to ensure the children’s education and families’ medical insurance. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, individuals are not willing to pursue some high level requirement such as recognition until their basic requirement, such as money, has been satisfied. Consequently, for most people, money is the foremost thing to be considered.
What is more, money can be utilized to broaden social circle or improve oneself. As we know, no one can achieve success without others’ help, that is to say, sometimes whether you will succeed depends on how many friends you have. friends can give us plenty of useful suggestions and precious opportunities, which may help us a lot during the process of the pursuit of happiness. therefore, sometimes money can be used to consort successful people or join in some meets among the upper class, in which you need to wear decent clothes. Additionally, in order to achieve success, we need to improve our knowledge and experience. therefore, taking some courses or training and buying helpful books are essential to improve ourselves. In a word, during the process of achieving success, money is indispensable if you want to go further.
Admittedly, social recognition would be taken into consideration if people already have enough money. In Maslow's hierarchy of needs mentioned above, social recognition is a higher level requirement, when the basic necessities of life has been satisfied with money, individual start to regard things like recognition as their life pursuit. As the case stands, even there’s no money paid, they will be still willing to work hard to pursue respect, realize their personal value or even change the world like Steve Jobs.
Based on the analysis from all the evidence provided above, I can reasonably reaffirm that money is the fundamental requirement when people work hard, while public recognition would be taken into account only when they have enough money.
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- TPO 52 integrated writing task 16
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 183, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...about how to achieve success from them. when it comes to which is the original purpo...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hen people already have enough money. To begin with, money is absolutely th...
^^^^
Line 5, column 327, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: During
... provide them with a high quality life. during the period of inflation, more money is ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the foremost thing to be considered. What is more, money can be utilized t...
^^^^
Line 9, column 240, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Friends
...d depends on how many friends you have. friends can give us plenty of useful suggestion...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 389, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...he process of the pursuit of happiness. therefore, sometimes money can be used to consort...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 636, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...o improve our knowledge and experience. therefore, taking some courses or training and bu...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ispensable if you want to go further. Admittedly, social recognition would ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 136, Rule ID: NEEDS_FIXED[1]
Message: "needs mentioned" is only accepted in certain dialects. For something more widely acceptable, try 'mentioning' or 'to be mentioned'.
Suggestion: mentioning; to be mentioned
...gh money. In Maslows hierarchy of needs mentioned above, social recognition is a higher l...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 212, Rule ID: BASIC_FUNDAMENTALS[1]
Message: Use simply 'necessities'.
Suggestion: necessities
...is a higher level requirement, when the basic necessities of life has been satisfied with money, ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ven change the world like Steve Jobs. Based on the analysis from all the ev...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, if, may, so, still, therefore, while, in addition, such as, to begin with, what is more, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 8.0752688172 235% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2432.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 458.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.31004366812 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62611441266 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91065069262 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.528384279476 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 757.8 618.680645161 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.2412199334 48.9658058833 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.6 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.9 20.6045352989 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.85 5.45110844103 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.377748214072 0.236089414692 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.140883554461 0.076458572812 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100752861766 0.0737576698707 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.245558924219 0.150856017488 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0561082175883 0.0645574589148 87% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 11.7677419355 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 58.1214874552 70% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 10.1575268817 129% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 10.9000537634 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 86.8835125448 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.