One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

Essay topics:

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing.

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Due to the improved medical care, the mortality rate has decreased and expectancy of life is constantly increasing, thus leading to a longer life.

The new health facilities have improved quality of life and eventually lead to a more independent and prosperous life for the geriatric population and I agree with it. Firstly, one of the main developments because of better health care is that people live a longer and healthier life and spend more time with family, especially grandchildren. The regular health checkups and many lifesaving drugs are now readily available and promise a better prospect of life. Moreover, as more medical assistance such as nurses, physical therapist always gives an edge from the past facilities.

However, the detrimental effects of more life expectancy have put a lot more weight on the government. In other words, the authorities such as social security services have to spend a lot of money on the old population from the taxpayer’s money. In other words, as the numbers of retired people increases in the country, more money has to be spending on their health care to maintain their healthy lifestyle and a big chunk of money is taken from the other developmental programmes such as roads, schools, restoration of historical buildings, thus impacting the economy in the long run. As a result of this, many countries with a large number of the old population have low economy rates.

In conclusion, I think the advantages of improved health facilities have decreased the mortality rate and improved quality of life, but can have some drawbacks, such as slowing of the economy.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
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Essays by user ielts2020 :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Due to the improved medical care, the mo...
^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ives an edge from the past facilities. However, the detrimental effects of mor...
^^^^
Line 5, column 631, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...s a result of this, many countries with a large number of the old population have low economy rat...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 692, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... old population have low economy rates. In conclusion, I think the advantages o...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, so, thus, as to, i think, in conclusion, such as, as a result, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 13.1623246493 38% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 7.85571142285 13% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 1.0 7.30460921844 14% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 7.0 24.0651302605 29% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 41.998997996 86% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1360.0 1615.20841683 84% => OK
No of words: 266.0 315.596192385 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11278195489 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.03850299372 4.20363070211 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88308366267 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 140.0 176.041082164 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.526315789474 0.561755894193 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 436.5 506.74238477 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 5.43587174349 18% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 16.0721442886 62% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.2975951904 128% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 66.7035231453 49.4020404114 135% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.0 106.682146367 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.6 20.7667163134 128% => OK
Discourse Markers: 12.1 7.06120827912 171% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.01903807615 80% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.226883803255 0.244688304435 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0909080723507 0.084324248473 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0803100816104 0.0667982634062 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156879537344 0.151304729494 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0658183871355 0.056905535591 116% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 13.0946893788 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 50.2224549098 90% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.4159519038 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.9 8.58950901804 104% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 78.4519038076 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 9.78957915832 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.1190380762 123% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.