"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
This is the suggestion of Buckingham authority to college administration about increasing student housing on campus to fulfill student's requirements. According to college, their enrollment is increasing and the requirement of housing is augmenting too. Authorities prediction for the next fifty years of doubling their enrolment is not based upon any data or study. Moreover, they are talking about a hike in off-campus renting apartments and due to new dormitory construction eventually attract more students. Here, the exegesis of data is not given with some survey or shreds of evidence hence, this suggestion maladjusted to prejudice the statement.
Firstly, at the Buckingham college, local students are commensurate with international students are higher. So there is no statistical data is provided about how much international and local student required dormitory, so there might be a chance of more local students at Buckingham. Hence, by constructing the more dormitory might not be a solution to this problem. Even though, the enrollment of students is augmenting they might be local students who may not require dormitory. The prescience of the upcoming fifty years must be analytical in terms of the type of students.
Secondly, the average rate of off-campus housing is increasing but, this assertion is failed to provide more data on how much rent and in which area the rent is increasing because they are talking about an average. So there might be some city centers where rent is higher and some bucolic areas where rent is low.
However, if international students are more then there is a need for more dormitory. So university should find out who are the target people and then they must design and modify irrefutable guidelines for student housing.along with that construction of a new dormitory should be modular and flexible to accommodate the future need.
In totality, college should identify and analyze the type of students first and then take a decision to build a new dormitory. The statement is failing to provide case papers, shreds of evidence, and incisive data to understand the current context and requirement of the college. Without sufficient information, it is not valid to prejudice the suggestion and take then the required action.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1873 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.174 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.946 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.294 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.234 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.326 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 45, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[2]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...ver, if international students are more then there is a need for more dormitory. So ...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ion and take then the required action.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, talking about
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 12.0 28.8173652695 42% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1915.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 362.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29005524862 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36191444098 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01289542499 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 204.123752495 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.472375690608 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 616.5 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.8016131538 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.647058824 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2941176471 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.70588235294 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.185882325114 0.218282227539 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0643984255297 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0483466192371 0.0701772020484 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102369408989 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0540469117375 0.0628817314937 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.4 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.95 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.