"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town — Adams Realty and Fitch Realty — Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."
The author makes several unstated assumptions and hence, is not well reasoned. While it may be true that Adams Realty is superior to Fitch Realty, this author's unsubstantiated argument utterly fails to weave a cogent case to prove it.
The author makes a crucial logical error by assuming Adams Realty is superior to Fitch Realty. Realty is quite competitive and no one can be superior to others all the time. Hence, it is quite possible that Fitch Realty might be superior to Adams Realty at some time.
Firstly, the author states that one of the reasons for Adams Realty's superiority is because of the number of employees working in the firm. The productivity of the work depends on the ability of each of the employees but not on the number of employees. The part-time work done by the twenty five members of the employees in Fitch Realty is nearly competitive to work done by the forty employees of Adams Realty.Ficth Realty is recruiting their employees for part-time because they might be capable of doing the work in time.So Superiority of Adams Realty can not be wholly decide by the employee count.
Secondly,the author maintained that Adam's last year was twice as high as that of Fitch Realty.The author also presented the homesales in which Adam's sales averaged $168,000 and compared that to Fitch's $144,000. The biggest mistake here is the author did not provide the price of each house in Adams Realty and Fitch Realty. There is a possibility that Adams Realty may be charging higher home price than Fitch Realty ,thereby making the revenue of the Adams Realty high.
Thirdly, the author asserted that homes listed with Adams sell faster.Advocating this statement the author provided his case in which, when he listed his house with Fitch ten years ago,it took more than four months to sell,where as when he listed with Adams Realty ,his house sold within a month.The major error here is the author has made an incompatible comparison between ten years and one month.Things change with time.If the author might have listed his house with Fitch last year,it might have sold in less than one month span.
In recapitulation,the author made unaddressed assumptions that gravely undermine its tenability.Unless,these underlying assumptions are addressed the argument falls apart ,the conclusion that Adams Realty is superior to Fitch Realty could be flawed.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 406 350
No. of Characters: 1936 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.489 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.768 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.401 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 20.887 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.431 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.708 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.197 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 412, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Ficth
... by the forty employees of Adams Realty.Ficth Realty is recruiting their employees fo...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 525, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...ht be capable of doing the work in time.So Superiority of Adams Realty can not be ...
^^
Line 7, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ecide by the employee count. Secondly,the author maintained that Adams last year ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 95, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...s twice as high as that of Fitch Realty.The author also presented the homesales in ...
^^^
Line 7, column 413, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ging higher home price than Fitch Realty ,thereby making the revenue of the Adams ...
^^
Line 9, column 71, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Advocating
...hat homes listed with Adams sell faster.Advocating this statement the author provided his ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 135, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t the author provided his case in which, when he listed his house with Fitch ten ...
^^
Line 9, column 186, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...isted his house with Fitch ten years ago,it took more than four months to sell,wher...
^^^
Line 9, column 224, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , where
...go,it took more than four months to sell,where as when he listed with Adams Realty ,hi...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 225, Rule ID: WHERE_AS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'whereas'?
Suggestion: whereas
...o,it took more than four months to sell,where as when he listed with Adams Realty ,his h...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 266, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...here as when he listed with Adams Realty ,his house sold within a month.The major ...
^^
Line 9, column 298, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...s Realty ,his house sold within a month.The major error here is the author has made...
^^^
Line 9, column 401, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Things
...parison between ten years and one month.Things change with time.If the author might ha...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 425, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...s and one month.Things change with time.If the author might have listed his house ...
^^
Line 9, column 487, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...ve listed his house with Fitch last year,it might have sold in less than one month ...
^^^
Line 11, column 18, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...han one month span. In recapitulation,the author made unaddressed assumptions tha...
^^^^
Line 11, column 97, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Unless
...s that gravely undermine its tenability.Unless,these underlying assumptions are addres...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 103, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , these
... gravely undermine its tenability.Unless,these underlying assumptions are addressed th...
^^^^^^
Line 11, column 171, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s are addressed the argument falls apart ,the conclusion that Adams Realty is supe...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, well, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1985.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 392.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0637755102 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44960558625 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7815611094 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.469387755102 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 607.5 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 126.428781084 57.8364921388 219% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 152.692307692 119.503703932 128% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.1538461538 23.324526521 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.07692307692 5.70786347227 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 5.25449101796 362% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.391880092951 0.218282227539 180% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.187536465567 0.0743258471296 252% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102031697556 0.0701772020484 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.23656932687 0.128457276422 184% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.10002520245 0.0628817314937 159% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.5 14.3799401198 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.66 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.31 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.