The university has provided students who are going to enter university with two summer vocation programs. Which one do you think is better for students?
1) Take some college courses in advance. e.g. some courses that are related to students' major.
2) Visit some history museums or historical relics.
Nowadays, our world is changing all the time, new technologies and new concepts spring up in a dramatical speed. In order to figure it out and apply it easily, each part in our society should make some changes to respond to it. Take universities as an example, these days, many universities have provided students who are going to entering the university some vacation programs to help them better understanding the coming campus life. The first program is that they can provide some college courses in advance while the other one is providing them to visit some history museums or historical relics. Many people would like to choose the first one, but I prefer the second one for some reasons.
Firstly, history museums or history relics will also record some related information about their major because each kinds of major will have its own origination and development process, we could find it and know more about it in the museums. In some extent, before learning a major, we should know its history first instead of learning it directly. These museums and relics proved the presence of their majors’ development process, we can learn this major through these records before we entering campus. Take my elder brother as an example, he studied electronic technology as his major when he was in university. During the vacation, his teacher will organize his students to visit the museum. In the museum, my brother known how Thomas Edison create the bulb and how Tesla’s theories were being proved. After the vacation, when he came back to school, he found it was easier for him to learn these boring theories because he has already known the background theories. So I think I’ll do the same thing as him before I study a particular major. In conclusion, information from the museums and relic a give us a effective help in studying a particular major.
Secondly, our changing society do not need for people who only master his major anymore. Just like I said before, our world is changing in a rapid way. We need to master more things to live better in our coming campus, even in this world. So they should not only learn some useful information from the museum despite their major but also it is a way to improve our aesthetic ability. Aesthetic things can be seen everywhere the museum or relics, and this ability is also important in modern society. Nowadays our society needs the people who is good at all the things, just like the aesthetic ability and other abilities. Elon Musk is a proper example, he’s the CEO of Tesla corporation. He’s an almost perfect guy and a kind of crazy because he also tried to explore the Mars without NASA’s help. He’s the man our society is needed. He has the ability to manage his company, the ability to invent tesla cars and the ability to invent equipment used to explore Mars. Just because one of his hobby create a perfect him, when he has spare time, he would like to visit historical relics and museum. So he became a great guy when he was in university. All in all, I think we should master different fields’ knowledge through visiting historic museums and relics.
From what has been discussed above, I can draw a conclusion that it is the best for students who are going to entering university is to visiting history museum. So I prefer the second program to help students, that is the best choice for students coming for university, and I’ll also choose this program.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1112, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...on from the museums and relic a give us a effective help in studying a particular...
^
Line 5, column 137, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a rapid way" with adverb for "rapid"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ke I said before, our world is changing in a rapid way. We need to master more things to live ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 835, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...lp. He’s the man our society is needed. He has the ability to manage his company, ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, while, i think, in conclusion, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 78.0 43.0788530466 181% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 52.1666666667 128% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2854.0 1977.66487455 144% => OK
No of words: 597.0 407.700716846 146% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.78056951424 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.94303383012 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47864657663 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 269.0 212.727598566 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.450586264657 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 907.2 618.680645161 147% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 21.0 9.59856630824 219% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.6139970333 48.9658058833 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.4137931034 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5862068966 20.6045352989 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.13793103448 5.45110844103 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.88709677419 246% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.251561317834 0.236089414692 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0652106862285 0.076458572812 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0866635821099 0.0737576698707 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.197456710019 0.150856017488 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.127564069085 0.0645574589148 198% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 11.7677419355 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.44 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.54 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 86.8835125448 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.