The following appeared in a memo from the Mayor of the city of Hillview:
“In order to alleviate the serious unemployment problem in our town, we should encourage Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area. The Hillview landfill, which has been undeveloped for decades, is a perfect site for this plant. The building and staffing of this plant will put to work thousands of Hillview residents left unemployed after Computech computer software programming company abandoned its national facility last year. I am asking the City Council to authorize a large campaign to attract the company and offer significant tax incentives to make our town attractive to this giant of car manufacturing.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The memo recommends to encourage the Autotech - automobile manufacturing plant- in the city of Hillview to reduce the unemployment problem. He suggests that the Autotech can provide jobs for unemployed residents of hillview and there is a suitable place for the company to boils its plants. And he asks the City council to reduce the tax and fund a large campaign to attract company to Hillview. At first, the recommendation seems valid but a deeper analysis of the recommendation and argument suggests that the recommendations may not work in all cases until below questions are answered.
Does the Hillview landfill has all the necessary characteristics required for building a automobile manufacturing plant? Answering this question is very important to evaluate the recommendation provided by the mayor. The Mayor bases his argument in the view that the landfill is apt for building a manufacturing plant. There are several things which should be taken into account while building a manufacturing plant like sufficiently large open space, adequate water supply and good road conditions etc. What if the landfill does not have large enough space to accommodate the plant? Or it could be possible that the soil type of landfill is not suitable for construction of large buildings? The mayor does not consider all these points before arguing that the landfill is suitable place. If, the mayor can provide sufficient data to prove that the landfill can be used to develop a large scale building, the recommendation stands valid, else the recommendation not seems logical.
Will Autotech be able to employ all unemployed people in Hillview? Automobile manufacturing may need a whole new set of skills altogether. The mayor mentions that the unemployment is caused by the Computech programming company. This indicated that the unemployed people may not have the required skill sets for manufacturing because programming and manufacturing are completely different. It could be possible that, though the Autotech establishes a plant in Hillview, it may not be able to recruit a considerable amount of people from Hillview. Also there are many factor that determine the number of employees required for a company like the budget or the availability of work. What if the Autotech just establishes a small plant which hardly required 100 employees? In this case it is less likely that the unemployment problem will be reduced.
Though the city council launches a campaign and gives some tax deduction facility to the company it does not mean the campaign will be able to attract the Autotech. What if the Autotech is in financial crisis and not willing to expand its facilities? In this case launching the campaign is of no use for Hillview. If the mayor is able to say that the Autotech is financially strong and is looking to expand its operations, the recommendation seems to work.
To conclude, the mayor fails to give a viable recommendation since his arguments are based on some unanswered questions. If the answers are provided to those questions, the recommendation may not be practical. Hence, the city council should take the recommendation from mayor with a grain of salt.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 516 350
No. of Characters: 2617 1500
No. of Different Words: 224 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.766 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.072 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.025 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 145 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 120 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.846 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.378 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.503 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 10, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommends encouraging'.
Suggestion: recommends encouraging
The memo recommends to encourage the Autotech - automobile manufacturing...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 28, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'have'?
Suggestion: have
...answered. Does the Hillview landfill has all the necessary characteristics requi...
^^^
Line 3, column 88, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...y characteristics required for building a automobile manufacturing plant? Answeri...
^
Line 5, column 547, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...derable amount of people from Hillview. Also there are many factor that determine th...
^^^^
Line 5, column 562, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun factor seems to be countable; consider using: 'many factors'.
Suggestion: many factors
...of people from Hillview. Also there are many factor that determine the number of employees ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 567, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'factors'?
Suggestion: factors
...ople from Hillview. Also there are many factor that determine the number of employees ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, look, may, so, while, in all cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2674.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 516.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.18217054264 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76609204519 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.07961712196 2.78398813304 111% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.441860465116 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 825.3 705.55239521 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.7148840843 57.8364921388 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.037037037 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1111111111 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.33333333333 5.70786347227 41% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28039191472 0.218282227539 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0889786912438 0.0743258471296 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0814995774342 0.0701772020484 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155050564237 0.128457276422 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0546702474964 0.0628817314937 87% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.