Q 20 : The family has a great influence on children's development, but the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part in children's life. Do you agree or disagree?
(갠적으로 ㅈㄴ맘에안듬)
Recently, the impact of families on children's behaviour has become the subject of heated debate. Some people assert that parents play a vital role in the development of children's personalities, while others argue otherwise. Personally, I believe that both arguments should be given equal weight. In the following essay, the evidence supporting this contention will be discussed alongside relevant examples.
On the one hand, it seems difficult to refute the idea that parents greatly affect the behaviour of children. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that young people have a predisposition to follow their parents' behaviour considering that all children rely on their parents at the beginning of the socialisation process before they receive primary education. As a brief illustration, children with parents suffering from obesity because of undesirable eating habits, such as over-consumption of junk food, are more likely to become overweight considering that they often consume the same unhealthy food that is eaten by their parents. For these reasons, there does seem to be a solid basis for the claim that the parents' role in children's development is crucial.
On the other hand, it seems short-sighted to contend that only family members exert an influence on children's characteristics. The most oft-cited argument is that a number of working parents lead a hectic life due to devotion to work in the fiercely competitive society, and they have difficulty spending enough time with their children, meaning that a large number of children communicate more frequently with teachers as well as friends than parents. Thus, these children learn a multitude of things from their peers and teachers. In addition, the advancement of technology makes it possible for children to make use of their time online. As a result, children who are generally less able to distinguish right from wrong can be easily exposed to detrimental and obscene information on the internet, having a negative effect on their behaviour. In light of the above, I also find these persuasive.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about this topic. However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, it can be concluded that each side of the debate has its strengths, as discussed above.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2022-08-09 | idid382021 | 84 | view |
| 2021-09-22 | idid382002 | 84 | view |
| 2021-09-22 | idid382002 | 84 | view |
| 2021-09-10 | idid382002 | 89 | view |
| 2021-08-14 | idid382002 | 89 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 717, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'parents'' or 'parent's'?
Suggestion: parents'; parent's
...be a solid basis for the claim that the parents role in childrens development is crucia...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 353, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
... time with their children, meaning that a large number of children communicate more frequently wi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 128, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a careful manner" with adverb for "careful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, it can be concluded that each side of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, so, thus, well, while, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as a result, as well as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 13.1623246493 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 10.4138276553 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 7.30460921844 192% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 24.0651302605 154% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 41.998997996 140% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.3376753507 180% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1957.0 1615.20841683 121% => OK
No of words: 368.0 315.596192385 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.31793478261 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96310682689 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 176.041082164 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.584239130435 0.561755894193 104% => OK
syllable_count: 610.2 506.74238477 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 4.0 2.52805611222 158% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 75.860866682 49.4020404114 154% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.3125 106.682146367 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 20.7667163134 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.5625 7.06120827912 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.199733702027 0.244688304435 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0643179197019 0.084324248473 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.052112833246 0.0667982634062 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104208403667 0.151304729494 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0662112745242 0.056905535591 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 13.0946893788 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 50.2224549098 79% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.4159519038 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.28 8.58950901804 108% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 78.4519038076 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.