The graph shows the proportion of population aged 65 and over between 1940and 2040 in three different countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph compares total numbers of the elderly people in three different countries namely Japan, Sweden and US from 1940 to 2040.Overall, it can be seen that upward trend is in all three countries.
To begin with, Population of the elderly people in USA and Sweden followed the fairly similar pattern between 1940 and 2000. In 1940, the percentage of the older people in USA and Sweden was at 6 and 9 respectively then steadily increased between 1940 and 1985 at ( 15 in US and 13 in Sweden). The percentage in both countries slightly dropped between 1985 and 2000.In US the figure expected to remain steady from 2000 to 2020 at 14 and it will rise between 2030 and 2040 at 24 .Whereas, in Sweden the trend projected volatile pattern between 2000 and 2040 and it will reach at 23.
On the other hand, In 1940, elderly population was approximately 5 percent, then slightly decreased at 3 between 1940 and 1960 then remained plateau for 30 years and then started rise. In 2030, the figure expected to increase, it will climb at nearly 27 percent in 2040.In japan, the number of elderly population is expected higher than the number of other two countries.
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Comments
Hi if I correct the grammer
Hi if I correct the grammer mistake what would be the band...
Thanks alot for your comments...
Around 6.5. Grammar issues
Around 6.5.
Grammar issues will decrease your credit greatly. You don't expect good marks with grammar errors.
Hi I have made some changes
Hi I have made some changes could you check it again , I really appreciate..
6.5 out of 9 Which country
6.5 out of 9
Which country you were talking in the last paragraph is not clear. and still you need to improve the language.
Read some samples:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/graph-below-shows-pr…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/graph-shows-proporti…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/graph-shows-proporti…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-i-essays/graph-below-shows-pr…
Thank you very much, yes I
Thank you very much, yes I just checked that, I forgot to write down the country name in last paragraph....
it can be seen that upward trend in all three countries.
it can be seen that the upward trend is in all three countries.
Whereas, in Sweden the trend projected volatile pattern between 2000 and 2040 and it will reached at 23.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to will and reached
the figure expected to increased,
the figure expected to increase,
it will climbed at 27 percent
it will climb at 27 percent
the number of elderly population is expected higher than other two countries.
the number of elderly population is expected to be higher than the number of other two countries.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 6 10
No. of Words: 194 200
No. of Characters: 867 1000
No. of Different Words: 97 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.732 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.469 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.362 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 60 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 45 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 24 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 15 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.455 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.512 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.745 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.229 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4