You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why?
There are numerous works that we can do for our community. But the biggest barrier, which prevents vast majority of people in a society from serving to their community is lacking of time. If I had sufficient time in month, I would try to have a big role on the improvement of my community by training a part of society that people are deprived of education system, helping addicts, and finally understanding the problem of teenagers who are in sensitive ages.
First and foremost, I create a training center for both people with poverty in the society and old men and women who have never been educated. I believe that with increasing the level of the education in our society, it will be prosper very fast. In fact, this is the most prominent factor for improving a community. As perfunctory glance of the history of European reveals that some countries such as Swiss became entered to a big progression and industrial civilization, coincidentally with high rate of education.
In addition, I always claim that we should assist to people who are polluted to drugs like marijuana and heroin. Addicted people need our help to getting out from this disastrous scourge. If I had a little vacant time in every month, I would try to lead this group of community by devoting my time to convince them that their way is totally wrong, therefore helping them to ameliorate their life. I would try to persuade them to amend their way and admire to make a new good life radically.
At last not least, I will help the teenagers facing with some problems. For instance, a youngster who abandons his/her house because of a hasty decision when he was struggling with his parents. I will harbor them for a short time, consult them, and try to return them to their home again. Juveniles and youngsters are valuable properties of every country or society, who we should not be negligible about them.
To summary, taking into the account all aforementioned illustrations, I can conclude that I would have my community by building training centers for pauper and elder people, to prepare them a place for education, helping the addicts, and helping youth in sensitive ages.
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Sentence: As perfunctory glance of the history of European reveals that some countries such as Swiss became entered to a big progression and industrial civilization, coincidently with high rate of education.
Error: coincidently Suggestion: coincidentally
Sentence: If I had a little vacant time in every month, I would try to lead this group of community by devoting my time to convince them that their way is totally wrong, therefor helping them to ameliorate their life.
Error: therefor Suggestion: therefore
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1737 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.657 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.63 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 121 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.901 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.563 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.154 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5