“'Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by 30 percent. Potential employers, looking at this dramatic rise in grades, believe that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement; as a result, Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.’ Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.”
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Although the author creates a logical argument about the "cause-and-effect" nature of the Omega University issue, the author fails to provide enough evidence that student evaluations are the real root of the problem. In addition to a wide variety of factors that may have both confounded the higher grades and lack of job success, the passage fails to directly connect the overall relationship between both factors with evidence. In order to create a much stronger argument, the author will need to provide more information about how exactly these surveys were taken, if the surveys had a direct impact on the teachers assigning higher grades, and whether or not the grade inflation impacted potential emplyers to be considered the actual root of the unemplyment.
The first component of the argument that must be addressed is the student surveys themselves. What questions are being asked? How are the questions being asked? Surveys are known to distort real data by asking question in enticing ways that sway towards certain answers. If the surveys are, themselves, not very accurate, maybe it is the surveys that need to be changes, not terminated. Are all students required to fill out an evaluation for the sake of their grades or is it optional? Optional student surveys tend to attract the student's who did extremely well or the students who did very poorly. Is this representative of the entire student body? Maybe the problem here is that the small student population is not an accurate sample size of the student population. More importly, what are the direct ramifications of the survey on the student body? Has any research been done to directly connect the surveys to change in grade inflation or teaching? Are the student evaluations causing the teacher's to change their instruction in a way that makes them "easy" or worthy of more student praise or are the professors directly turning C's to A's causing students to use the curve as a crutch? Until the author provides statistical evidence of the effects of the survery directly on the grade increase, he renders the passage unable to draw a clear conclusion about the impact of the surveys on the grade inflation in the first place.
When the author introduces student surveys as a factor influencing teacher's to higher the grades in their classes, he also makes several unwarranted assumptions. The first assumption is that the surveys are the cause of the teacher's assigning higher grades. If it is true that the overall averages of the classes have gone up, how can we assume that the direct cause of this grade increase is from the impact of dissatisfactory student surveys? There are an amalgam of other reasons why grades may increase in the classroom including teacher compassion for the students, changes in curriculum, and generational differences of students.
The second assumption, which may be even more unwarranted that the first, is that the grades themselves, whether stemming from inflation or not, are the cause of student unemployment after graduation. Counding variables such as the availability of the job market, student readiness to enter industry, and overall lack of employment for all ages and level of education may be hindering student's from achieving success. How can we assume that potential employers use the inflated grades as a reason to reject students when classroom activities are oftentimes unrepresentative of job performance. The author would need to provide clear evidence of how many employers have commented and what exactly they are saying about the university "grade inflation." Maybe it is not the increase in grades that are hindering student success after graduation, but a lack of the institution to provide students with enough resources to secure jobs or be ready to apply to the job market at all. The author mentions Alpha University nearby as having the same problems. Does Alpha Univeristy distribute student evaluation surveys? If not, that would dramatically decrease the validity of the Omega University arguement. The author urgently needs to address the wide variety of other variables that may have contributed to the unemplyement of which have nothing to do with the grades, classroom, or university at all.
In order to create a stronger argument that could be used to potentially prove the harm of student surveys, the author would need to evaluate the evidence of the validity of the surveys in the first place, the direct impact of those surveys on grade inflation, and the impact of that grade inflation on the general job market. Throughout the passage, no clear evidence is shown connecting all three. Until the author provides statistics or other forms of quantitative and qualitative data on the effects of the survery, no clear conclusion may be drawn about the termination of student surveys.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: If not, that would dramatically decrease the validity of the Omega University arguement.
Error: arguement Suggestion: argument
Sentence: The author urgently needs to address the wide variety of other variables that may have contributed to the unemplyement of which have nothing to do with the grades, classroom, or university at all.
Error: unemplyement Suggestion: unemployment
Sentence: Until the author provides statistics or other forms of quantitative and qualitative data on the effects of the survery, no clear conclusion may be drawn about the termination of student surveys.
Error: survery Suggestion: survey
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argument 1 -- not OK, and too long.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK, but too long
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Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.
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flaws:
No. of Words: 790 350 //the introduction and conclusion are too long too.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 32 15
No. of Words: 790 350
No. of Characters: 3975 1500
No. of Different Words: 303 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.302 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.032 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.751 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 304 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 241 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 155 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 99 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.688 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.354 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.531 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.44 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 659, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...e teachers assigning higher grades, and whether or not the grade inflation impacted potential ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 459, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'amalgams'?
Suggestion: amalgams
...isfactory student surveys? There are an amalgam of other reasons why grades may increas...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, so, well, in addition, such as, it is true, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 39.0 19.6327345309 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 108.0 55.5748502994 194% => OK
Nominalization: 38.0 16.3942115768 232% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 4084.0 2260.96107784 181% => OK
No of words: 790.0 441.139720559 179% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.16962025316 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.30159774456 4.56307096286 116% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95899552932 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 321.0 204.123752495 157% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.406329113924 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1284.3 705.55239521 182% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 7.0 1.67365269461 418% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 89.2566247246 57.8364921388 154% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.741935484 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4838709677 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.12903225806 5.70786347227 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.224411275854 0.218282227539 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0641363940104 0.0743258471296 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0510433966367 0.0701772020484 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.136355042483 0.128457276422 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0358419400294 0.0628817314937 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.3799401198 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.0 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 179.0 98.500998004 182% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.