SuperCorp recently moved its headquarters to Corporateville. The recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville proves that Corporateville is a superior place to live than Middlesburg, the home of SuperCorp's original headquarters. Moreover, Middlesburg is a predominately urban area and according to an employee survey, SuperCorp has determined that its workers prefer to live in an area that is not urban. Finally, Corporateville has lower taxes than Middlesburg, making it not only a safer place to work but also a cheaper one. Therefore, Supercorp clearly made the best decision.
Any argument that debates over why one place is better to place to live than the other is more often than not a subjective one.Leastways, argument makes lots of assumptions while comparing the places in question. Also, it is only fair to question the credibility of the mentioned survey. Viewing these factors it would be premature to conclude that Corporateville is a better place to live and also that Supercorp clearly made the best decision.
The argument cites the recent surge in the number of homeowners in Corporateville as the reason that it a superior place to live than Middlesburg. Here, the obvious flaw in the argument might be the fact that employees of Supercorp moved to Corporateville only because Supercorp moved its headquarters there. Also, the argument doesn't how much distance separates these place, which could mean that they are far away friom each other and thus employees of SuperCorp had to shift for convenience to reach their workplace. The argument can be strengthened by more motives that a person can have to cite Corporateville better than Middleburg and also by mentioning the distance between these two places.
The credibility of any survey can always be doubted because a survey is not always answeres by all the people it is meant for and is thus not an accurate form of data representation. For all we know, there might be more employees that prefer to live in an urban area that did not turn up on the day the survey was conducted or were just not interested to answer it. This would imply why the survey came out in employees that desire living in a non-urban area. Also, just because the employees wish to live in a non-uraban area, they mightnot want to move to Corporateville immediately thus rendering the shifting of the headquarters presumptuous. The survey should be backep up by mentioning the questions it had and the number of employees that answered it, to strengthen the argument.
The argument mentions low taxes in Corporateville, but does not elucidate on the reason for lower taxes. It is possible that the low taxes in Corporateville are on account of its rural setup and lack amenities provided to its residents. On the other hand, while acrruing more taxes, Middlesburg might be providing a greater number and better quality of amenities to its residents . Thus assuming the argument is flawed in assuming that lower taxes is better and makes the place more desirable to live. Thus mentioning the reason for these low taxes would help strengthen the argument.
It is conspicuous that the argument assumes a lot with respect to the survey, taxes and recent surge of homeowners in Corporateville. Thus, it is only fair to conclude that the agument needs to be more specific to support its various conclusions.
- Technology, while apparently aimed to simplify our lives, only makes our lives more complicated. 50
- The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company. "According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than 55
- A person who knowingly commits a crime has broken the social contract and should not retain any civil rights or the right to benefit from his or her own labor. 50
- Technology, while apparently aimed to simplify our lives, only makes our lives more complicated. 50
- Men and women, because of their inherent physical differences, are not equally suited for many tasks. 66
Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/supercorp-recently…
---------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 470 350
No. of Characters: 2262 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.656 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.813 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.827 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.217 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.35 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.581 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 128, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Leastways
...is more often than not a subjective one.Leastways, argument makes lots of assumptions whi...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 329, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... headquarters there. Also, the argument doesnt how much distance separates these place...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 380, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...er quality of amenities to its residents . Thus assuming the argument is flawed in...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, then, thus, while, with respect to, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2312.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 468.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94017094017 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65116196802 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90865944731 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.446581196581 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 734.4 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.8832089997 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.684210526 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6315789474 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.78947368421 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.256950770715 0.218282227539 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0924312381384 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105894170902 0.0701772020484 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.155096514496 0.128457276422 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0867355927273 0.0628817314937 138% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.