TPO46:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
In all kinds of media like radio or the internet, the influence of celebrities is enormous to younger people. younger people dress up like them or follow the activities they did recently. however, in contrast, people who are elder then them is not getting such influence from celebrities. In general, the money and time people cost to celebrity is much greater than the older people. I further discuss why young people is more influenced by celebrities than older people with specific reasons.
To begin with, young people have admiration on celebrity. In the young age group, most people regard the relationship as a first priority. they want to be the influential people and everyone want to admire themselves as a celebrity. Because of the admiration of popularity, they constantly copy the celebrities word and action. For instance, in Kansas, two young girls paid the thirteen thousand Dallors with the credit card at the department store. The main reason is one of the celebrities they like said "if you buy this clothe than you can get the fame as me" through the radio. Actually, this kind of happening is frequently aroused among the young people. The simple word of the celebrity is influential to the young people.
In addition, younger people are in the stage of building characteristic. In the contrast to older people, younger people's characteristic is completely unsettled. they are easy to change the opinion depend on the well structured logic or opinion of famous celebrity. that is why lots of politicians utilize well-known celebrity as the method of their marketing promotion. older people are already decided in which party they will vote. Moreover, in order to change the mind of old people, the politician needs to spend double or triple times for one vote. however, most of the research from the election center, most of the young people are deny to vote the reason of their ignorance and unsettled opinion. 90 percent of the party who used a famous celebrity tend to win the competition than the party who did not use.
As a result, young people are constantly stabilizing their characteristic. Due to the fact that their admiration to become as celebrity blur the judgment. The opinion of the celebrity is crucial to younger people than older people who already set their mind for a long time.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 111, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Younger
...ebrities is enormous to younger people. younger people dress up like them or follow the...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 189, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ollow the activities they did recently. however, in contrast, people who are elder then...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... older people with specific reasons. To begin with, young people have admirat...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 140, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...d the relationship as a first priority. they want to be the influential people and e...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... is influential to the young people. In addition, younger people are in the s...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 163, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...characteristic is completely unsettled. they are easy to change the opinion depend o...
^^^^
Line 9, column 249, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrity'.
Suggestion: celebrity
...the well structured logic or opinion of famous celebrity. that is why lots of politicians utiliz...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 267, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...d logic or opinion of famous celebrity. that is why lots of politicians utilize well...
^^^^
Line 9, column 372, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Older
...he method of their marketing promotion. older people are already decided in which par...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 556, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...nd double or triple times for one vote. however, most of the research from the election...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 641, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'denied'.
Suggestion: denied
...on center, most of the young people are deny to vote the reason of their ignorance a...
^^^^
Line 9, column 742, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrity'.
Suggestion: celebrity
...ion. 90 percent of the party who used a famous celebrity tend to win the competition than the pa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tion than the party who did not use. As a result, young people are constantly...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, however, if, moreover, so, then, well, for instance, in addition, in contrast, in general, kind of, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 43.0788530466 51% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 52.1666666667 109% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1966.0 1977.66487455 99% => OK
No of words: 390.0 407.700716846 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04102564103 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44391917772 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74545347673 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 212.727598566 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.487179487179 0.524837075471 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 607.5 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 23.4271921778 48.9658058833 48% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 81.9166666667 100.406767564 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.25 20.6045352989 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.95833333333 5.45110844103 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.5376344086 235% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.279779679692 0.236089414692 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0838697894721 0.076458572812 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0576758150514 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.17899612272 0.150856017488 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0556571617441 0.0645574589148 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 11.7677419355 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 61.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.