"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Based on the recent study on eighteen rhesus monkeys, the scientists argue that the effects of birth order had a relation with individual’s levels of stimulation. However, there are some unaddressed questions to account for before any conclusion.
Firstly, the sample size of the study is limited to eighteen rhesus monkeys. To generalize the observations of the study, a larger number is desirable. Out of the eighteen rhesus monkeys examined, what is the proportion of the newborns to the older ones? Similarly, what is the ratio of the first-time mothers to those who already had several offspring? Assuming that they were in equal numbers, this will reduce the number of each type of specimen to 4 or 5 which further limits the scope for generalization. Moreover, the sub-species of rhesus monkeys under study are not specified. The question, whether or not, the observed increased levels of hormone cortisol is limited to a certain sub-species is intriguing. It may be possible that the results may hold true for one sub-type and not for others.
The study links the observed level of hormone cortisol to increased stimulation relying on the fact that hormone cortisol primes the body for increased activity. However, the study only measures the level of cortisol and does not delineate the criteria used for observing the consequent stimulation levels in the monkeys. The extent to which hormone cortisol stimulates the body needs to be understood. It may be possible that there are other hormones, for example adrenalin, that may have a fair part in stimulating the body and the levels of which have not been studied according to the birth-order. While hormone cortisol might have an effect on stimulation levels, what other hormones contribute significantly to the activity levels; and what are their levels relative to birth order; are the unaddressed questions. The same issue must be addressed with respect to humans whether there are other hormones produced in high levels during stimulating situations.
The similar finding of high levels of hormone cortisol in first time mothers compared to those have several offspring may not be inextricably linked to the birth-order of infants. During the first childbirth body goes through a lot of new biological and physiological processes for the first time. This might also be linked to production of hormone cortisol. This explanation also be valid for the first child who has inherited the cortisol level from its mother.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 401 350
No. of Characters: 2041 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.475 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.09 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.734 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.05 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.228 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.65 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.499 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 600, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
... study are not specified. The question, whether or not, the observed increased levels of hormo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, moreover, similarly, so, while, for example, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2096.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 401.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.22693266833 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47492842339 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87486938393 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483790523691 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 661.5 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.2805421787 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.8 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.05 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.25 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.203201592206 0.218282227539 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0667540592543 0.0743258471296 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.076722948527 0.0701772020484 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.136175100759 0.128457276422 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0726646570545 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.84 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.