Some people think the extended family is still important for one’s to be sociable and amiable. However, in my opinion, the extended family has a trivial impact on people in modern society due to the changes in purpose for the creation of family and different ways of having chances to socialize.
To begin with, people in the past lived on farming with agricultural lifestyles so that they had to make birth as many as possible to meet the needs of labors. Naturally, it created the extended family grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles living together. However, modern society is not an agriculture society. People get involved in many different jobs and work in various places like factories, offices, schools, and even foreign countries. You name it! Still, some people have cultivated grains and planted vegetation, even they don’t need to have many human resources since they can employ machinery for farming lands. So to speak, the main purpose of the extended family is gone which led its importance to get lower than before.
On top of that, there are a bunch of ways for children to socially improve. Those who advocate the importance of the extended family might want to assert that this kind of family is helpful for children to fit in a bigger society by interacting with many family members. However, the internet changes a lot in terms of communication and social activity. Although children don’t have a large number of families, they can interact with a lot of unknown others which is more helpful for them in a way that they got an opportunity to deal with unfamiliar people. Learning how to treat new people can be more important in society because everyone outside the house will be a stranger. Take the example of my cousin who is a teenager. After getting a mobile phone, she took part in a soccer club online and chatted with members of the club sharing ideas about soccer and overall sports. Later, they made an appointment and gathered physically to play soccer in the playground of her school. Finally, they got along well and have been keeping good relationships for now. I bet my cousin learn a lot about her social life not from her family but from her soccer club originated from online.
To sum up, I admit valuable lessons from the family. Especially the more family members are, the more you may get something from them. But I am sure that its influence becomes less and less since the purpose of the family was changed and children can engage in social activities on the internet.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 339, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...culture society. People get involved in many different jobs and work in various places like fa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 29, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'bunches'?
Suggestion: bunches
...before. On top of that, there are a bunch of ways for children to socially improv...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 389, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...vity. Although children don't have a large number of families, they can interact with a lot ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, however, if, may, so, still, well, kind of, in my opinion, so to speak, to begin with, to sum up, on top of that
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 43.0788530466 77% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 52.1666666667 136% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2106.0 1977.66487455 106% => OK
No of words: 435.0 407.700716846 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84137931034 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56690854021 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56049440331 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.531034482759 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 673.2 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.9232357188 48.9658058833 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.285714286 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7142857143 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.45110844103 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.16632309878 0.236089414692 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0501759868564 0.076458572812 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0577378913692 0.0737576698707 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105124786767 0.150856017488 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.021436154075 0.0645574589148 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.