Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
The purpose of education is to prepare students for the future- by enabling them to be self sufficient- and also developing them to become individuals that would contribute to the well being of their society. Educational institutions have to focus on these two aspects simultaneously. The claim above is focuses only a self-sufficiency and i disagree.
To understand this claim, the word lucrative has to be defined. This is because it is a relative term. There are careers that may not be financially lucrative but provide fulfillment for an individual. Educational institutions should not actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that lead to just financially lucrative careers.
I believe that the purpose of education is not just for future earnings but also learning because education shapes who we are and who we become. Therefore if schools only focus on financially lucrative careers, they bequeath to the society half- baked individuals and this is detrimental to the society because money is not everything. We see examples of how valueless individuals have caused pain for other members if the society on Wall Street. Thus, students should be encouraged to choose courses would develop them, educate them and make them better indviduals both morally and career wise.
Also, if schools only encourage students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers, it is unlikely that we would have teachers, policemen, firemen and public servants. Careers in teaching, law enforcement and public service are not “lucrative”.
Another reason why students should not be guided in subject and career choices is that it inhibits them from becoming what they should truly be. Some students desire to be financially wealthy, others just want enough to sustain them. It is up to the individual to choose their path, For instance, a student who is inherently a great teacher and wants to teach but is “encouraged” to become a architect is a great loss for the student and the society.
Nevertheless, though schools should leave career choices to the students, they should provide guidance that would help students make the right choices. For instance, many student change majors because they are unsure of what they should do. Here, a school can help the student discover their purpose.
It can also be argued that we get an education to earn money and become self sufficient in the future. This is true and if one has to go through the rigorous process of schooling, the profits should be great. As the African proverb says “if one would eat a frog, one should eat a juicy frog. In this regard, students should be encouraged pursue careers that would bring all-round fulfillment- and money is a huge part-.
In summary, whilst schools should encourage students to pursue lucrative careers, the focus should be on al-round fulfillmeny and not only financially profitable careers.
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Sentence: The claim above is focuses only a self-sufficiency and i disagree.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and focuses
Sentence: We see examples of how valueless individuals have caused pain for other members if the society on Wall Street.
Error: valueless Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Thus, students should be encouraged to choose courses would develop them, educate them and make them better indviduals both morally and career wise.
Error: indviduals Suggestion: individuals
Sentence: In summary, whilst schools should encourage students to pursue lucrative careers, the focus should be on al-round fulfillmeny and not only financially profitable careers.
Error: fulfillmeny Suggestion: fulfillment
flaws:
No. of Words: 477 350 (maybe less words)
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5
It is on top list:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/gmatgre
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 477 350
No. of Characters: 2382 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.673 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.994 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.697 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 191 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 141 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.268 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.584 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.134 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5