We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Essay topics:

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should
only be concerned with our own communities and countries.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that , it is impossible to fulfil the needs of everyone in the world, hence, we should engross only for our own communities and countries. I partly agree with this statement,however , I believe that we should help as much as we can.

On the one hand , I opine that , encouraging to help others would not be presumable for some states which are embattled with their own problems.
For example, some areas which are with the high incidence of a crime, unemployment or an economic recession cannot aid to other countries because local problems put hurdles to this process. If they are obliged to give a help to the poorer countries , they also might take place of such kind of countries which are in difficulties. In addition, helping other societies without overcoming local problems may prevail contradict views among public and stoke their dissatisfaction towards government.

On the other hand, I think that giving an ancillary aid to someone in difficult times is an import asset of the personal integrity. Refusing the help for other countries by reasoning local problems might benefit to some extent, but it would be misguided action as well. Because , it might led to the abating of bonds with countries, disappearing of harmony and discrediting the reputation of the state in the international audience. Apart from that, this situation might stoke egoism and deprive youth from the sense of international hospitality . As a result , future generations will be left with the legacy of living in thr foul and segregated society.

In conclusion, I reckon that, it might be impossible to provide an aid for everyone whi need help, but we should give help as possible as we can.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
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Essays by user Qudrat2003 :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 23, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
Some people think that , it is impossible to fulfil the needs of...
^^
Line 1, column 126, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d, hence, we should engross only for our own communities and countries. I partl...
^^
Line 1, column 143, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ld engross only for our own communities and countries. I partly agree with this...
^^
Line 1, column 161, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r our own communities and countries. I partly agree with this statement,however...
^^
Line 1, column 195, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , however
...ies. I partly agree with this statement,however , I believe that we should help as much...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...that we should help as much as we can. On the one hand , I opine that , encour...
^^^
Line 3, column 16, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...p as much as we can. On the one hand , I opine that , encouraging to help oth...
^^
Line 3, column 31, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... can. On the one hand , I opine that , encouraging to help others would not b...
^^
Line 3, column 33, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...an. On the one hand , I opine that , encouraging to help others would not be ...
^^
Line 3, column 47, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'helping'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: helping
... one hand , I opine that , encouraging to help others would not be presumable for some...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 34, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lems. For example, some areas which are with the high incidence of a crime, unem...
^^
Line 4, column 109, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e, unemployment or an economic recession cannot aid to other countries because lo...
^^
Line 4, column 250, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...d to give a help to the poorer countries , they also might take place of such kind...
^^
Line 6, column 279, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ld be misguided action as well. Because , it might led to the abating of bonds ...
^^
Line 6, column 280, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...d be misguided action as well. Because , it might led to the abating of bonds w...
^^
Line 6, column 313, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ecause , it might led to the abating of bonds with countries, disappearing of ha...
^^
Line 6, column 550, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...m the sense of international hospitality . As a result , future generations will b...
^^
Line 6, column 564, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... international hospitality . As a result , future generations will be left with th...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, however, if, may, so, well, apart from, for example, i reckon, i think, in addition, in conclusion, kind of, as a result, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 7.85571142285 204% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 24.0651302605 116% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 41.998997996 93% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1417.0 1615.20841683 88% => OK
No of words: 283.0 315.596192385 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.00706713781 5.12529762239 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10153676581 4.20363070211 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91736588798 2.80592935109 104% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 176.041082164 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.565371024735 0.561755894193 101% => OK
syllable_count: 438.3 506.74238477 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 5.43587174349 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 16.0721442886 75% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 25.9641847338 49.4020404114 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 118.083333333 106.682146367 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5833333333 20.7667163134 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.0833333333 7.06120827912 185% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 18.0 5.01903807615 359% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.360898941676 0.244688304435 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.129793150313 0.084324248473 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.111330821408 0.0667982634062 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.223569830933 0.151304729494 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.131756240715 0.056905535591 232% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 13.0946893788 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 50.2224549098 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.4159519038 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.68 8.58950901804 101% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 78.4519038076 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 9.78957915832 148% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.