Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is no doubt that in this intertwined world inwhich we live, people know about the all news as soon as possible, and the news about the heros such as athletes and celebreities spreads in seconds. While different folks are interested to follow these kinds of news, some of them are influenced more than others. In my view, youngsters affected more than other people by athletes and celebrities for the following reasons, which I will ealborate on them in the following essay.
First of all, the young are more interested in entertainemetns and hobbies rahter than ollder people. Most of the celebrities are at the young ages and the youth believe them faster, maybe because they are at the same ages and have a common attitude. Youngsters follow those entertainers and athletes because they are symbols of success in the youth's eyes. Juveniles are at the middle of their trajectory and have a lot of wishes, and they look at these heros to find their success secrets. For example, my younger brother is a fan of Shakira, a well-known, world-class singer, not only because he likes her voice but also he want to get fame likle his hero. He read all biograghy about the singer and follow her activities, in addition, he tries to memic her daily routine in her lifestyle hoping to be a famous singer in th future. His lifestyle shows how he influenced by his lovely singer.
Secondly, the young have more free time and less responsibilities than the adult, as a result, they freely could follow these celebrities. Whatching and reading all time about those people has an involuntery effect on the youth thought. They will bea ffected by their celebrities' idea and concept. THere is a sdaying in our culture that says we look like as everything that we like, for contemporary young folks we can say their orle models . I recall last week, I read an article about the economy effect the celebrity industries. The studies showed that the entertainment and athletes occupy one third of the whole celebrities industry cash flow. It demonstrated that many of those money are circulating in the dole or goods that has a figure of well-known people, furthermore, it asserted that the targeted costumers of these market is totally the youth. Consequently, the numbers show that the youth are influenced by the celebrities enormously more than older people,who have diverse tasks and responsibilities.
In sum, considering all aforementioned details and reasons, I firmely believe that the juvenile are more influenced by celebrities rather than elder folks. This is because the youth are more interested to follow those celebrities lifestyle to find the seceret of furtune and because they have more free time and less responsibilties than older people.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...orate on them in the following essay. First of all, the young are more interes...
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Line 2, column 635, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'wants'.
Suggestion: wants
... because he likes her voice but also he want to get fame likle his hero. He read all...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...w he influenced by his lovely singer. Secondly, the young have more free time ...
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Line 3, column 53, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun responsibilities is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...ndly, the young have more free time and less responsibilities than the adult, as a r...
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Line 3, column 325, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ies idea and concept. THere is a sdaying in our culture that says we look like as...
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Line 3, column 450, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...young folks we can say their orle models . I recall last week, I read an article a...
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Line 3, column 627, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'celebrities'' or 'celebrity's'?
Suggestion: celebrities'; celebrity's
... athletes occupy one third of the whole celebrities industry cash flow. It demonstrated tha...
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Line 3, column 688, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
...cash flow. It demonstrated that many of those money are circulating in the dole or goods th...
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Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , who
...rities enormously more than older people,who have diverse tasks and responsibilities...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e diverse tasks and responsibilities. In sum, considering all aforementioned d...
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Line 4, column 228, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'celebrities'' or 'celebrity's'?
Suggestion: celebrities'; celebrity's
...uth are more interested to follow those celebrities lifestyle to find the seceret of furtun...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, furthermore, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, third, well, while, for example, in addition, no doubt, such as, as a result, first of all, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2288.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 460.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97391304348 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6311565067 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84747956998 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 229.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497826086957 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 725.4 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.2357668333 48.9658058833 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.4 100.406767564 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.2 5.45110844103 169% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.204558957649 0.236089414692 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0668524137086 0.076458572812 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0508848881639 0.0737576698707 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141506661729 0.150856017488 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0403769214855 0.0645574589148 63% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 11.7677419355 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 86.8835125448 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.