The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author proposes that the increased use of salicylates in food-processing is the reason behind the decline in the number of headaches over time. He further goes on to claim that there will be a steady decline, since new uses for salicylates have been discovered. However, the observations of the study cited to justify the views are tenuous at best, and more definitive evidence is required.
All the factors that can cause/ameliorate a headache need to be considered. To name a few- the lifestyle, mental health (stress, anxiety levels) and other dietary intake needs to be studied. For example, it is possible that the participants of the study have been leading a stress-free, healthy lifestyle over the past twenty years, which has made them resilient to headaches. It may also be possible that there is some other dietary source other than salicylates that is leading to reduced headaches. Thus, the scope of the study needs to be broadened, taking into consideration the factors mentioned above. If no other causal agents are found, then the claim put forward by the author becomes stronger, and the headaches are likely to keep reducing in the future
A more definitive conclusion can be made if the study is conducted on a diverse range of participants, a part of whom eat processed food, while the rest don’t. If these two types of people lead a similar lifestyle, and if the processed food consuming people report lower headaches than the non-consumers, then we need to study the salicylate levels in the bodies of the consumers. In case the bodies of processed-food consumers with lower cases of headache are found to have higher salicylate levels, only then we can conclude that the author’s claim is entirely correct.
The argument presented is rife with conclusions based on insufficient knowledge. However, if the study is conducted in a more detailed manner, the results can be more definitive.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 320 350
No. of Characters: 1556 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.229 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.862 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.775 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.425 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.337 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 396, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d more definitive evidence is required. All the factors that can cause/ameliorat...
^^^^
Line 2, column 763, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re likely to keep reducing in the future A more definitive conclusion can be made...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, may, so, then, thus, while, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 16.3942115768 18% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1603.0 2260.96107784 71% => OK
No of words: 318.0 441.139720559 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04088050314 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22286093782 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94654759267 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.534591194969 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 521.1 705.55239521 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.188937966 57.8364921388 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.307692308 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4615384615 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.46153846154 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.172859233034 0.218282227539 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0627137291264 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0499240374569 0.0701772020484 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105665248855 0.128457276422 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0603337385137 0.0628817314937 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.6 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.