The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet inappropriately from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. Installing software on company computers to detect employees' Internet use is the best way to prevent employees from wasting time on the job. It will foster a better work ethic at Climpson and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
A recommendation has been sent by the vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries to the company’s president regarding improving the employee productivity. In the recommendation, it is suggested to monitor employee’s internet use within the workstations. It is written to identify the employees who use internet inappropriately and punished them to restrict the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities. Again, it is suggested to install software on company computers to detect employee’s internet use and to prevent them from wasting time during the job. In the end, the argument concludes the following recommendation will foster a better work ethic at Climpson and improve overall profits. The following argument is based on unstated assumptions which does not hold water.
Firstly, the argument fails to provide evidences why is there an internet facility within the working station. What is the purpose of installing internet facility within working environment? Similarly, it fails to delineate the type of Climpson industries is, which does not need internet facility to operate its operation. It fails to recognize the evidences how an internet facility ruins the productivity of an employee and how the vice president of human resource becomes prejudiced with the uses of internet decreases productivity. The argument lacks proof regarding the internet use by employee during working hour or during idle period. It is possible that the internet is used for learning purposes or training purposes which overall increases profitability. Thus, the argument should state these unstated assumptions before coming to any conclusion.
Secondly, the argument fails to provide any relevant data regarding the calculation of inappropriate use of internet or to measure its inappropriate use. It is possible it may be used for suitable purposes like making reports, learning procedures, operating tools as well as training purposes. Similarly, it may be possible that the access of internet facility is particularly for the managerial level rather than foremen level. The managerial level who are in direct linkage with the top management committee through various channels which are direct or indirect to discuss the goals and objectives of the organization as well as achievement. These indirect channel required some medium to communicate with the top management like internet. Thus, regular monitoring of internet breaks the link with upper management which overall decreases the productivity of the company.
Thirdly, the argument states the installation of monitoring software on company computers helps to prevent the wasting of time during jobs. Nowadays, there are various mediums to access internet facility like tabs, smart phones and other useful electronic gadget. The supervision teams will find difficulty to monitor the internet activities of the employees in various inappropriate activities like personal or recreational purposes like shopping or gaming. Thus, it is pointless to assume the internet activity can be checked through the installation of monitoring software in company computers.
In conclusion, the assumptions as it stands now is full of flaws. It should be provided with evidences in order to explain it in a systematic manner of checking the use of internet facilities inappropriate manner which overall increases the profit of an organization through fostering a better work place ethic.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 525 350
No. of Characters: 2890 1500
No. of Different Words: 226 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.787 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.505 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.039 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 241 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 206 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 161 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 89 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.928 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.52 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 127, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a systematic manner" with adverb for "systematic"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...d with evidences in order to explain it in a systematic manner of checking the use of internet facilit...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, similarly, so, third, thirdly, thus, well, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 83.0 55.5748502994 149% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2956.0 2260.96107784 131% => OK
No of words: 525.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.63047619048 5.12650576532 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78673985869 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11750583486 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 232.0 204.123752495 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.441904761905 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 945.9 705.55239521 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.9118389503 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.24 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.88 5.70786347227 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.317675546591 0.218282227539 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.092407722737 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100831933388 0.0701772020484 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.179271605273 0.128457276422 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.125742455424 0.0628817314937 200% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.24 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.37 12.5979740519 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.59 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 130.0 98.500998004 132% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.