The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree wi

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

The prompt says that budget allocation for advertising will solve the problem of viewership as it will create awareness in the people. On the surface, It seems to be a logical solution but some of the information given is either insufficient or flawed.
Investors should take a closer look and determine all the factor involved before reaching a conclusion
Firstly, the argument says that fewer people have attended in the past year than in any other year. We don't have any data on how many people attended last year or last to last year? What do these fewer indicate on numbers? We don't have the statistics of how many people so as to compare different years and calculate the discrepancy in attendance. Without this it's illogical to say that awareness is the problem. For example let's say in past year 1 lakh people came to watch the movie but next year only 90k turned up. Decrease of 10k people suggests that awareness might not be the single problem we are dealing with. There might be another problem that has been left untouched or ignored in the argument such as the content of the movie.
Secondly, Increase in positive reviews has been mentioned to suggest that awareness is the big problem but this assumption seems to be flawed because we don't know what kind of movies has been shown in the last year. For example, If the superhero genre has been produced and shown and if people who love comic books had come and watched the movie then their reviews will be biased. Reviews will be inundated with positive one beacuse It has targeted one specific segment of audience and that audience are naturally inclined towards these movies. So we don't know what kind of movies and for what kind of audience has been targeted in past years?
Altogether there is no specific information given so as to draw a definitive conclusion about whether budget allocation will solve the problem or not. Answers to these question will help the investors to do more research and to create a business plan which will cater to viwership problems.

Votes
Average: 1.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 190, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
..., It seems to be a logical solution but some of the information given is either insufficien...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 74, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ok and determine all the factor involved before reaching a conclusion Firstly, t...
^^
Line 3, column 104, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...he past year than in any other year. We dont have any data on how many people attend...
^^^^
Line 3, column 227, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... do these fewer indicate on numbers? We dont have the statistics of how many people ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 271, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
... have the statistics of how many people so as to compare different years and calculate t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 154, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ssumption seems to be flawed because we dont know what kind of movies has been shown...
^^^^
Line 4, column 551, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ly inclined towards these movies. So we dont know what kind of movies and for what k...
^^^^
Line 5, column 52, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
... there is no specific information given so as to draw a definitive conclusion about whet...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, look, second, secondly, so, then, as to, for example, kind of, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 33.0505617978 67% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 58.6224719101 72% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 12.9106741573 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1684.0 2235.4752809 75% => OK
No of words: 355.0 442.535393258 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.74366197183 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.55969084622 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.45488392158 2.79657885939 88% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 215.323595506 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.501408450704 0.4932671777 102% => OK
syllable_count: 528.3 704.065955056 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.3919992262 60.3974514979 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.25 118.986275619 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1875 23.4991977007 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.9375 5.21951772744 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 10.2758426966 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.064903312664 0.243740707755 27% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0235707172453 0.0831039109588 28% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0211168143221 0.0758088955206 28% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0308974630548 0.150359130593 21% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0183817559721 0.0667264976115 28% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.1392134831 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.21 12.1639044944 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 100.480337079 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.