Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Computer games have a great impact on our children. Most children like to play games either on computers or on any other devices. Some people think that playing computer games are a waste of time to children. However, others do not. In my view, it is important for children to play computer games but under the supervision and control of their parents. I feel this way for two reasons that I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, children will learn different skills by using the computer. Nowadays, with the advanced technology, everyone should know how to use the computer, even for playing games. You need to use it at work, in studying and even as a source for entertainment. For instance, my elementary school son knows a lot of computer skills. He simply likes to play games on the computer and this helped him a lot to be familiar with the keyboard. Since he needs to use different key while playing, so he got to use them frequently. This in turn helped him to type quickly when he has any school assignment. In addition, some computer games are played online and children can communicate with other, this will help them to know how to communicate in an effective way. In general using the computer, even for playing will help children to get familiar to it and know how to use it in a different task in their studying and later in the future at their work.
Moreover, computer games are one way for our children to relax and have fun. Most children have a lot of work to do at school. Although they sometimes have no homework at home, they usually work hard at school and need to enjoy their time at home. Take my son as an example, he is a fifth grader. Usually, he works hard at school and returned back home with homework and sometimes, he got stressed with all his duties. Playing computer games help him to relax and relief his stress so his mind will be refreshed and he can think better in his studying. Also, for me, they act as a reward for my son to improve his grades. I remember last year, my son did not work hard in his studying, so I punished him by not letting him play computer games until he improves his grades. You know what, this worked and he got good grades later.
All in all, playing computer games will benefit our children. Not only because it will help children to gain helpful skills but they also help them to relax and enjoy their life.
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Playing computer games help him to relax
Playing computer games helps him to relax
Not only because it will help children to gain helpful skills but they also help them to relax and enjoy their life.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
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flaws:
No. of Words: 440 while No. of Different Words: 185
We are expecting:
No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
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More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence. Look:
Although
they sometimes have no homework at home,
they usually work hard at school and need to enjoy their time at home. Take my son as an example,
he is a fifth grader. Usually,
he works hard at school and returned back home with homework and sometimes,
he got stressed with all his duties.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 440 350
No. of Characters: 1899 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.58 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.316 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.252 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 18 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.923 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.049 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.457 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.172 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5