Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
There is no doubt that in such a sophisticated world people are putting in a lot of effort to live a healthy lifestyle, communicate with each other, and be knowledgeable. Both educational and extracurricular activities play a decisive role in every individual’s life. This often brings up a controversial question at universities and colleges: is the education most important factor in every individual’s life? No one can deny that sports and social activities affect different aspects of people’s lives. In this regard, some people are inclined toward the opinion that sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries whereas others disagree, believing that education is more important and should receive majority of the budget in comparison to sports and social activities. From my point of view, both educational and extracurricular activities at universities and colleges should be financed equally since they affect human needs and people’s futures in the same way. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my perspectives for the importance of extracurricular activities such as sports and social activities.
One of the reasons that immediately comes to mind is that humans have diverse requirements in their lives; such as biological, social, and emotional needs, among others. It is obvious that education can not address all aspects of a person’s life. Take, for instance, the need for good health. One way to be healthy is to regularly play sports. Although education can help to heal diseases, prevention is better than any cure. That’s why students should be exhorted to exercise. Other aspects that aren’t covered by education are emotional and social requirements. People need to have diversity throughout their daily lives in order to not become exhausted and to be efficient. Health and efficiency would be useful for the economy as well. That’s why financing sports and social activities at universities are profitable.
Another equally important reason is that students will become a part of society in the future. This means that students will need more skills to communicate, find appropriate job, and bring up a family. A student who only attended class and went to the library may encounter serious problems in the future. For example, if someone goes for a job interview which needs special communication skills to acquire the job , one will lose the job. One way to improve communication skills is attending social activities at one’s university or college. Communal situations and groups will improve the students’ social skills. Therefore, funding social activities as much as funding education would be lucrative.
To wrap it up, if one weighs the merits and demerits of the aforementioned statements, one soon realizes that paying attention to sports and social activities as much as classes and libraries at universities and colleges is essential. In fact, human biological, social and emotional needs and taking part in society in the future show the importance of sports and social activities as extracurricular activities. Nowadays, the majority of educational institutions, including universities and colleges, should finance extracurricular activities as equally as educational ones. Wouldn’t it be an important milestone when universities change their policy and pay more attention to sports and the social skills of their students?
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flaws:
1. No. of Words: 531 while No. of Different Words: 241
We are expecting:
No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
2. The introduction paragraph and the conclusion paragraph are too long;
3. Better to put three reasons. instead of two. Try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree. (suppose we support side A)
Para 2: First, reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 1 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).
Para 3: Second, reason 2, blabla... do the same thing as First
Para 4: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side B. first,....second...However, there is no causation/realtion. Still I support side A, ....
Para 5: Conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 531 350
No. of Characters: 2809 1500
No. of Different Words: 241 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.8 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.29 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.056 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 228 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 161 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 124 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 94 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.964 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.922 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.433 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5