People are living longer after they retire What are the problems What can be done to solve these problems

Essay topics:

People are living longer after they retire. What are the problems? What can be done to solve these problems?

Recent decades have witnessed the increasing numbers of the elderly population. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons of the trend and its solutions.
In term of the causes of the proliferation of retired residents, this situation can bring numerous disadvantages. One of the discernible problems is putting a heavy strain on medical services in public sector. No doubt, when employees devote the whole of their working years in the companies, they can be highly suffered from several aging health conditions while there are minimize number of individuals who involved in health insurance. Therefore, this will lead to the government have to invest extensive money in order to serve these people. Another problem is preventing their children from earning money. Indeed, in some developing countries, the private care for aged population have certain limitation and offer an extensive price. Consequently, the retired population’s children have to look after parents by themselves.
Regarding to tacking the problems of this trend, I believe that the government should encourage individuals to involve in health insurance when they enter the workforce. From this approach, the government can collect minimize money from their monthly salaries, which can be saved and spent if they need to receive health service in the later life. Consequently, the local authorities can invest those money on other priority areas, such as: education or technology. Furthermore, the governments can release a public health service with reasonable price in order to help citizens to take care for elderly people at home therefore ambitious employees can devote extensive time on their workloads. As a result, the government can receive an enormous money of taxation from economic activities.
In conclusion, I think that the increasing number of the aged population can cause several drawbacks because of putting a heavily burden on public health service and their children to look after them. However, I believe that the optimal approaches to solve this problem is the governments should increase the number of health insurance participants and provide an “at home” health service.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Essays by user phamkhuyen :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 326, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[8]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun aging seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'some aging'.
Suggestion: some aging
...anies, they can be highly suffered from several aging health conditions while there are minim...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 374, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'minimized'.
Suggestion: minimized
...aging health conditions while there are minimize number of individuals who involved in h...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 395, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'those moneys', 'those monies'?
Suggestion: this money; those moneys; those monies
...ently, the local authorities can invest those money on other priority areas, such as: educa...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 735, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'enormous money'.
Suggestion: enormous money
...As a result, the government can receive an enormous money of taxation from economic activities. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 121, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('heavily') instead an adjective, or a noun ('burden') instead of another adjective.
...se several drawbacks because of putting a heavily burden on public health service and their chil...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, furthermore, however, if, look, regarding, so, therefore, while, i think, in conclusion, no doubt, such as, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 13.1623246493 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 7.85571142285 178% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 24.0651302605 108% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 41.998997996 121% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.3376753507 180% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1842.0 1615.20841683 114% => OK
No of words: 337.0 315.596192385 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.46587537092 5.12529762239 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.20363070211 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88510019765 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 176.041082164 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.548961424332 0.561755894193 98% => OK
syllable_count: 574.2 506.74238477 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 6.0 2.52805611222 237% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.9359791211 49.4020404114 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.125 106.682146367 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0625 20.7667163134 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.3125 7.06120827912 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.166833651547 0.244688304435 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0555582551478 0.084324248473 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0332809445394 0.0667982634062 50% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0927691878853 0.151304729494 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0576254699813 0.056905535591 101% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 13.0946893788 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 12.4159519038 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.22 8.58950901804 107% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 78.4519038076 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 9.78957915832 82% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.7795591182 139% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.