tpo-40
From a general standpoint, no one can cast doubt on the fact that children, especially school-age ones, should be appreciated for their success and achievements. With this in mind, it is not surprising to notice that like all prominent issues, some of its facets are subject to discussion and contention. For example, is it a plausible way to offer children for getting every high grade in the school has been a subject of controversy. Some parents are those who are of the opinion that giving money to children for their success in the school would be useful. I personally dispute it. In what follows, the rationale behind this point of view will be elaborated by focusing on two axiomatic reasons.
One reason worth mentioning here at first is that having a great performance in the schools is the first and most important duty of the school-age children. If parents give their kids money for each thriving success, they will be used to it and expect this money is their right. Thus, when they take their responsibilities, they look after money. Take my cousin as an example. He is a 13-year old boy. His parents offered him money for each high mark he had gotten in the school. Now, he expects his father should pay money for buying things needed for the house; he expects 10 percent of the purchased things as his reward.
The second reason that occurs to my mind is that although parents should value their kids' impressive achievements, the money is not a preferable reward. Provided that children in that age are bereft of a developed ability in recognizing what is useful for them, giving them money may have unintended negative consequences. My experience can shed light on this opinion. When I was 14 and passed the final exam with great performance, my father offered me a substantial amount of money. I spent all that money on purchasing cards, nearly 8000 cards, which are completely futile. Recognizing the disadvantages of this approach, the next year, my father gave me 7 books as the rewards that I already have them and enjoy from reading them.
In conclusion, it seems more judicious to say that offering school-age children money for each high grade does not sound good; not only does this approach enhance their expectations but also children in that age cannot spend their money in a right way.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 238, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a right way" with adverb for "right"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...en in that age cannot spend their money in a right way.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, may, second, so, thus, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1919.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 400.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7975 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.472135955 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67958835458 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.545 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 576.9 618.680645161 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.4404774962 48.9658058833 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.95 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.85 5.45110844103 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 11.7677419355 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.56 10.9000537634 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.