"During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-jo

Essay topics:

"During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."

The vice president of Quiot Manufacturing hold the belief that by reducing the working hours of each work shift, their workers can get adequate sleep and the number of the accidents can be reduced. A number of assumptions about the cause of fewer accidents in Panoply, the links between fatigue, less sleeping time and fewer accidents should be reexamined in order to evaluate the assumptions proposed by the vice president.

First and foremost, the vice presidents point out that there are fewer accidents in Panoply because of the fact that their working time is one hour less than ours. On the contrary, there is possibility that there are simply much fewer employees in Panoply so that there are fewer accidents happened. Besides, maybe the labors in Panoply are both simpler and less dangerous than those in Quiot Manufacturing. Thus, if these reason that I mentioned above cause the gap between these two factories’ accidents, the proposal to reduce working hours will not help to reduce the accidents.

In addition, there are other factors that can affect the possibility that the accidents may happen. For example, because of the heavier working pressure, the workers in Quiot Manufacturing have the habits to have some rest when the job is finished like go to the Karaoke or just have some parties, which is very exhausting and will affect the performance in the working time. Furthermore, some workers may have to do some part-time jobs because of the salary. But if the workers in Panoply do not have these kinds of problems, workers’ performance will be better and less accidents will be happened.

Finally, there is possibility that the workers in Quiot Manufacturing are less qualified than those in Panoply. For one thing, because of the lower salary in Quiot Manufacturing, those elite workers will apply the jobs in Panoply instead of those in Quiot Manufacturing. For another, due to the less investments, Quiot Manufacturing offer less training about the safety about how to protect themselves when something unnecessary happens and how to operate the machines. The proposal by the vice president will not take effect if the reasons I mentioned above really exist.

In a nutshell, Despite the decent intention of the vice president, we need more information to determine whether this proposal can actually work or is counterproductive. We have to collect the information I mentioned above to evaluate the proposal.

Votes
Average: 4.2 (3 votes)
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Essays by user Pyralis :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_THE_FACT_THAT[1]
Message: This phrase is redundant. Use simply 'because'.
Suggestion: because
...at there are fewer accidents in Panoply because of the fact that their working time is one hour less tha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 573, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun accidents is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...rs' performance will be better and less accidents will be happened. Finally,...
^^^^
Line 7, column 296, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun investments is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... Manufacturing. For another, due to the less investments, Quiot Manufacturing offer ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, besides, but, finally, first, furthermore, if, may, really, so, thus, for example, in addition, for one thing, on the contrary

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2059.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 399.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.16040100251 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46933824581 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89095761721 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.446115288221 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 657.0 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.3397131601 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.6875 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9375 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.5 5.70786347227 149% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.175939797846 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0644035498544 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0503374313959 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0980030148594 0.128457276422 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0446006264615 0.0628817314937 71% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 12.3882235529 141% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 399 350
No. of Characters: 1992 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.469 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.992 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.713 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.938 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.093 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.614 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.189 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5