Essay topics: The following is a recommendation from the business manager of Monarch Books.
"Since its opening in Collegeville twenty years ago, Monarch Books has developed a large customer base due to its reader-friendly atmosphere and wide selection of books on all subjects. Last month, Book and Bean, a combination bookstore and coffee shop, announced its intention to open a Collegeville store. Monarch Books should open its own in-store café in the space currently devoted to children's books. Given recent national census data indicating a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, sales of children's books are likely to decline. By replacing its children's books section with a café, Monarch Books can increase profits and ward off competition from Book and Bean."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the recommendation, a manager from Monarch Books argues that it should start in-store cafe in the current space of children’s books to improve profit and eschew competition from Book and Bean. It seems credible at first, however, many pieces of week evidence led me to question the credibility of the argument.
First, the manager should give more specific evidence on when Book and Bean is going to open a Collegeville store. The exact date should be considered, Since, Book and Bean has not announced the exact date of opening the store, Monarch Book should not move on to the in-store plan. Thus, the in-store cafe should be planned in the long run given that Book and Bean has not opened the store yet.
Second, the manager should afford more specific number of declined population under age ten. This is because, he cited the word “significant” from the census data. It should be quantified, since “the significant”deline might be mirginal to a book market in Collegeville. Thus. Monarch Book should not replace its children section with cafe. Additionally, Monarch Book might lose its advantages that it has wide selection of books on all subjects which help it to amass large customer.
Third, the manager should give more solid evidence on the income and outcome of Monarch Book, it they open a in-store cafe. Total expenses by adding construction cost and wage for new workers might override the income of Monarch Book. Even if, expense is smaller than initial income of Monarch Book, it is plausible that income might be decreased. By getting rid of children’s section, Monarch might lose many children customer and also their parents who might buy addtional book for themselves.
In summary, the argument seems not convincing on many grounds. the manager should afford more concrete evidence and various information on the things I mentioned above.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: It should be quantified, since the significantdeline might be mirginal to a book market in Collegeville.
Error: mirginal Suggestion: marginal
Error: significantdeline Suggestion: significant line
Sentence: By getting rid of children's section, Monarch might lose many children customer and also their parents who might buy addtional book for themselves.
Error: addtional Suggestion: additional
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not exactly
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 309 350
No. of Characters: 1511 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.193 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.89 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.558 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 107 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.447 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.595 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 292, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ginal to a book market in Collegeville. Thus. Monarch Book should not replace its ch...
^^^^
Line 7, column 108, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...d outcome of Monarch Book, it they open a in-store cafe. Total expenses by adding...
^
Line 9, column 64, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...t seems not convincing on many grounds. the manager should afford more concrete evi...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, second, so, third, thus, in summary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1596.0 2260.96107784 71% => OK
No of words: 309.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.16504854369 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1926597562 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99462063484 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 163.0 204.123752495 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.527508090615 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 489.6 705.55239521 69% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.8330280589 57.8364921388 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.75 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3125 23.324526521 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.8125 5.70786347227 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.233103207034 0.218282227539 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.087482259463 0.0743258471296 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0615838431603 0.0701772020484 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129675556109 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0707665168152 0.0628817314937 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 98.500998004 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.