The author of this memo argues that the upcoming open of a new franchise store of Nature's Way should prove to be successful, because residents who live in Plainsville, the area of the new store, tend to be very interested in healthy life style. While, at first glance, this expectation may seem convincing, the author fails to make a cogent case for the supposed success of the new store, standing on several unsubstantiated assumptions.
First assumption of this argument is that the new franchise would be successful in Plainsville because other regions where residents lead healthy lives like Plainsville have experienced similar successes. However, that might be not going to happen in this region. The author does not take other factors into consideration, which could affect the local business. Even if Plainsville's residents are truly and highly interested in regular exercise and relevant products as the author asserts, they may not be in health food. In such a case, the owner of the new store might not be able to expect such high profits as the stores in other regions earned.
Another assumption the argument relies on is that many residents of Plainsville would necessarily use the Nature's way store for satisfying there healthy lives after opening of the new store. However, as the author already said, Plainsville is the region in which the residents have high interests about their well-being, and there are already a lot of health-related facilities and stores. In this situation, it is hard to imagine that there would be no competition at all. In other words, Plainsville may be a red-ocean in matters of health-related items. If this is true, the new store would face a considerably fierce competition from the established rival stores.
Lastly, the author assumes that the schoolchildren' fitness-for-life program would be big and continue long enough to be profitable. Unfortunately, there is no specific evidence that proves the project's scale. In all likelihood, the project might be just a trial to determine whether such program would be effective to promote and foster children’s healthy life style. Moreover, it could also be possible that the number of children who live in Plainsiville is entirely negligible, so the new store could not see any income from products for children.
If the three major assumptions are determined as false, and so the author fails to make a persuasive case for this argument, it would be better for the plan to open a new store of Nature’s Way franchise in Plainsville to be entirely reconsidered.
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Essay evaluation report
flaws:
the arguments are not exactly right on the point. need to argue those:
argument 1:
Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs.
argument 2:
The local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full.
argument 3:
Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers: these schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 2097 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.993 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.911 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.706 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.892 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.34 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.556 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.054 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, lastly, may, moreover, so, well, while, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2158.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 420.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1380952381 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0376175173 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.478571428571 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 674.1 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.0296428247 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.941176471 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7058823529 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.70588235294 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.314631119241 0.218282227539 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104893143225 0.0743258471296 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0864014437775 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.199655063872 0.128457276422 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0516591168057 0.0628817314937 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.