A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring.
The author’s claims of the high stimulation in first borns of rhesus monkeys resting upon the hormone cortisol , is by many ways filled with potholes.The conclusions draw by the author need more firm support than discussed in the above text.
The research has been carried out only on as much as 18 rehsus monkeys and is being implied on the whole. this conclusion lacks proper practical amount of observations.For instance, the high cortisol levels maybe be predominant in the subjects tested but may not be viable or true in the whole species.
More rigorous examinations have to be carried out in order to proclaim a notion on the cortisol levels.
Moreover, the first-borns monkeys are being compared to the humans first-borns.this is a flawed view as a sound basis of all other factors have to be considered before comparing the biology species.Things like, their metabolism and sexual abilities have to be studied in order to compare on a very specific
Terms as the author does. A more detailed analysis has to be carried out regarding the several other situations before contrasting.
The argument fails to acknowledge the factors of the growth of the first-born in the environment he is subjected to.The environment considering the growth of the first-borns is completed evaded . An offspring can develop high levels of stimulation subject to the surroundings it is exposed to . For example, in an calm environment the offspring can develop high stimulation in advent of a surprise or shock whereas in tougher situations the stimulation found might be low.
it might be somewhat plausible to consider that the high levels of cortisol found in first time mothers is a valid reason for increased stimulation in the first- born.However, this should not account for the only reason. As over time, there is a fair chance of the hormones to replenish before the pregnancy.this situation is completely overlooked in the author’s argument.
We can only say at this juncture that the research needs to be more rigorous in order to draw any conclusions. The authors claims and arguments are precocious at this stage and need more proof for the viability .
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1762 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.881 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.801 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.769 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.094 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.776 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 64, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s of the high stimulation in first borns of rhesus monkeys resting upon the hormo...
^^
Line 1, column 117, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...onkeys resting upon the hormone cortisol , is by many ways filled with potholes.Th...
^^
Line 1, column 157, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
... , is by many ways filled with potholes.The conclusions draw by the author need mor...
^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...cussed in the above text. The research has been carried out only on a...
^^^
Line 11, column 107, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...keys and is being implied on the whole. this conclusion lacks proper practical amou...
^^^^
Line 11, column 145, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
.... this conclusion lacks proper practical amount of observations.For instance, t...
^^
Line 11, column 153, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...onclusion lacks proper practical amount of observations.For instance, the high c...
^^^
Line 11, column 172, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: For
...per practical amount of observations.For instance, the high cortisol levels mayb...
^^^
Line 25, column 199, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Things
...ed before comparing the biology species.Things like, their metabolism and sexual abili...
^^^^^^
Line 25, column 298, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...be studied in order to compare on a very specific Terms as the author doe...
^^
Line 25, column 308, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... in order to compare on a very specific Terms as the author does. A more detail...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 29, column 28, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ific Terms as the author does. A more detailed analysis has to be carried...
^^
Line 39, column 117, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...n in the environment he is subjected to.The environment considering the growth of t...
^^^
Line 39, column 194, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...h of the first-borns is completed evaded . An offspring can develop high levels of...
^^
Line 39, column 293, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ect to the surroundings it is exposed to . For example, in an calm environment the...
^^
Line 39, column 312, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...ings it is exposed to . For example, in an calm environment the offspring can deve...
^^
Line 39, column 357, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lm environment the offspring can develop high stimulation in advent of a surprise...
^^
Line 49, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ation found might be low. it might be somewhat plausible to consider...
^^
Line 49, column 82, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r that the high levels of cortisol found in first time mothers is a valid reason ...
^^
Line 49, column 169, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...ncreased stimulation in the first- born.However, this should not account for the only r...
^^^^^^^
Line 49, column 381, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...erlooked in the author's argument. We can only say at this juncture that th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 59, column 211, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ge and need more proof for the viability .
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, may, moreover, regarding, so, whereas, as to, for example, for instance, on the whole
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 13.6137724551 15% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1886.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 355.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31267605634 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0683737773 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.523943661972 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 556.2 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.0581060673 57.8364921388 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 145.076923077 119.503703932 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.3076923077 23.324526521 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.92307692308 5.70786347227 156% => OK
Paragraphs: 8.0 5.15768463074 155% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 22.0 5.25449101796 419% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.112743446896 0.218282227539 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0452202722518 0.0743258471296 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.043443491805 0.0701772020484 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0481271285976 0.128457276422 37% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0316414639687 0.0628817314937 50% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.02 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.