“In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agreed that participating in an
internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40
percent of Linford’s graduating art students had completed an internship. Skyway Designs,
located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a
number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is
sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible
working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design
business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of
Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in
a student’s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art
students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation.”
Linford is considering forcing any art student who wishes to graduate to do an internship with Skyway Design. Ignoring the ethical consideration this arguement is flawed on a multitude of reasons. The univsity is making a dirge of assumptions and cherry picking stats.
Firstly, according to a survey of college grads 90% found having an internship helpful. They fail to consider a plethera of variables about this survey:
How many students responded?
What did they major?
Did they have an internship?
Did they get a job in a field they want?
Addressing these in order, it fails to say how many students responded to the survey. There is a wide margin, was it 50 or 5000 students who responded to this? We need to know if there is a statistically significant response rate before the board considers using this survey. Next, the university needs to find out what respondants majored in when they studied. If for instance, they were all engineering majors it possibly wouldn't reflect how well internships would be for art students. Continuing on they never say if they had an internship or if that was actually the deciding factor of them getting employment. Following up, if they did get a job is it in the field they studied and or interned in. If Jane studied biology and is now an accountant it is perhaps not the best to site this survey as this wouldn't be something that all would enjoy
The university is saying that Skyward Designs they have internship is all their avaliable departments for art students so they theoretically should be able to get one they enjoy. This fails to consider if there is an equal number of positions that students want to the number of students. If there are 25 positions for graphic designers and there are 100 students that need an internship, what happens to the unlucky 75 students who didn't get their desired trade. The potential for frictional interships is ripe. They claim that Skyward would offer flexible hours, but fail to stat how flexible they would be. A student may have a summer off for an internship and Skyward is only offering internships during the calendar year.
Skyward Design is reputed to be one of the best companies in the area, however even this is riddled with flaws. They fail to address the size of Linford City, it could be that Skyward is perhaps the only real design company in the town. They also fail to compare Skywrad Design on a larger scale, say in a metro or statewide scale compare them to their competitors. The university also fails to take into account what if a students find a better opportunity, say working on Broadway or the Guggenheim. Lastly, the university is forgetting non traditional students or students who are already work. It would be unreasonable to expect a 40 year old who already has industry experience, to essentially slum it and do an internship for a few months to graduate. It would also be entirely unfair to force a student who is already working, possibly already in their field, to give that up in order to do an intership they may not want.
Linford university needs to consider a multitude of factors before they consider mandating all art students take interships with Skyward. They need to produce more justifcation then just a survey of old students. They would need to work with Skyward Design to ensure that they have enough quality interships for all who need them. Finally, they need to consider if it the right move for the university.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 34 15
No. of Words: 603 350
No. of Characters: 2800 1500
No. of Different Words: 256 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.955 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.643 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.646 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 191 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 153 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.735 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.417 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.255 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 10 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 25, column 425, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...were all engineering majors it possibly wouldnt reflect how well internships would be f...
^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 808, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...ot the best to site this survey as this wouldnt be something that all would enjoy ...
^^^^^^^
Line 29, column 434, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... happens to the unlucky 75 students who didnt get their desired trade. The potential ...
^^^^^
Line 33, column 422, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a student' or simply 'students'?
Suggestion: a student; students
...also fails to take into account what if a students find a better opportunity, say working ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, may, so, then, well, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 28.8173652695 208% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2905.0 2260.96107784 128% => OK
No of words: 600.0 441.139720559 136% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.84166666667 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.94923200384 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70370065322 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 269.0 204.123752495 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.448333333333 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 879.3 705.55239521 125% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 4.96107784431 282% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 32.0 19.7664670659 162% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 53.9421619509 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.78125 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.75 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.125 5.70786347227 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 10.0 5.15768463074 194% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 14.0 4.67664670659 299% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.146596284111 0.218282227539 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0487735334988 0.0743258471296 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.044407279433 0.0701772020484 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0756581545287 0.128457276422 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0422947371949 0.0628817314937 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.79 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 98.500998004 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 5.0 12.3882235529 40% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.