"The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition."
In today's society, living in megacities full of people, we think that it is necessary to compete for others in our daily lives, even for fulfilling our basic needs. We need to compete to be placed in a renowned university, we need to compete for a job with a high salary. Most people believe that they need to be fast and better than others to obtain what they need, perceiving life as if it is a race. However, the importance of competition for getting what you want, which is being a leader in government, industry, or other fields in our case, is questionable. Increased importance of the sense of competition in a society instead of competition can be more beneficial because of the following reasons.
First of all, the belief about a need of competition for getting what you want can be dangerous for mental health of the population. People tend to work more and more hours, leaving them a little time to rest both physically and mentally. In current workplaces, employees generally work for 45 hours or more for a week. Those who are more ambitious, spend more time while working to perform better than others. Therefore, they are left with less amount of time to spend with their families and beloved ones. Since they cannot reduce their stress level, their mental health will be adversely affected.
Secondly, recent research shows that teamwork boost the overall performance of people. Thus, to prepare the young generation for leadership positions and improve their work performance, the society can instill in them a sense of cooperation. While working in teams, people will also learn from others, for example the way others work. They can enrich themselves with observing different perspectives. For example, some students learn better from their peers instead of their instructors.
Lastly, a good leader is a person who communicate well with its team. The importance of the good communication is unquestionable for a team to success. Thus, a person who is trained in a cooperative environment will be more successful in understanding his or her team's need and navigating them to achieve their goals.
To sum up, in contrast with the general tendency of people to compete with others in order to have better positions for them in government or industry, this could be harmful for both individuals and society in general. A cooperative environment can be conducive for people to improve their abilities such as communication. Moreover, with cooperation, people can achieve more and better goals that cannot be achieved with competition.
- “Over the past year, our late-night news program has devoted increased time to national news and less time to weather and local news. During this time period, most of the complaints received from viewers were concerned with our station’s coverage of w 63
- A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. 62
- "The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition." 54
- "The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company. "According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies 55
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 435, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to better', 'to well'
Suggestion: to better; to well
...tives. For example, some students learn better from their peers instead of their instr...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, lastly, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, thus, well, while, for example, in contrast, in general, such as, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.4196629213 145% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 33.0505617978 112% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 58.6224719101 106% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 12.9106741573 155% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2147.0 2235.4752809 96% => OK
No of words: 424.0 442.535393258 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06367924528 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53775939005 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86281411459 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 215.323595506 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497641509434 0.4932671777 101% => OK
syllable_count: 659.7 704.065955056 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.7298191912 60.3974514979 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.5909090909 118.986275619 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2727272727 23.4991977007 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.86363636364 5.21951772744 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253960714627 0.243740707755 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0771922055386 0.0831039109588 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0750819797604 0.0758088955206 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145723462583 0.150359130593 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0632824658787 0.0667264976115 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.1392134831 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.8420337079 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.1639044944 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.38706741573 97% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 100.480337079 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 11.8971910112 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.