Individuals can do nothing to change society. Any new developments can only be brought about by governments and large institutions. How far do you agree or disagree?
It is a heated argument that whether only governments and authorities can develop societies and ordinary people cannot bring any changes for the better. While I disagree with this perspective, I do believe that governments have a vital role in making any progress.
On one hand, I think that irrespective of the government people could make some great changes. Take for example a poet who tries to intensify senses of kindness and friendship between people by publishing his poems. If he persists in his work it will definitely affect people’s behaviors, culture, and treatment and as a result people will be happier in their lives because they can gain more positive energy from each other. Another example which can clarify the issue is a doctor who nails a sign to the wall of his clinic that visiting the doctor for poor ones is free. Consequently, it could have some tremendous effects on people even the rich ones and people learn how awesome the concept of generousness is. These examples show that even an individual could be effective in the society.
On the other hand, I believe that governments could have noticeable impacts on the process of developing. The more authorities assist, the more a project could be successful. A case in point is an experienced engineer who has some beneficial ideas about establishing a power station with high efficiency but the government do not pay attention to him and therefore the individual faces failure because of a paucity of the government’s support.
In conclusion, there is no reason why individuals cannot bring any changes for the better in the society. Moreover, authorities’ support has a pivotal role in making any progress.
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Comments
Thank you so much for your
Thank you so much for your advice. I could not understand where the big mistake was, could you explain more?
"I do believe that Individuals have a vital role in making any progress. //this is a big mistake"
I appreciate your attention.
Best regards.
This is not related to
This is not related to grammar. It is away from the essay topic if you put 'government' instead of 'Individuals'.
compare:
'only governments and authorities can develop societies and ordinary people cannot bring any changes for the better. While I disagree with this perspective, I do believe that governments have a vital role in making any progress.'
and
'only governments and authorities can develop societies and ordinary people cannot bring any changes for the better. While I disagree with this perspective, I do believe that Individuals have a vital role in making any progress.'
you will get to understand.
I do believe that governments have a vital role in making any progress.
I do believe that Individuals have a vital role in making any progress. //this is a big mistake
but the government do not pay attention
but the government does not pay attention
flaws:
The structure of the essay is not correct.
should be like this:
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para1: introduction
para2: government can do something
para3: however, individuals can do something too (reason one)
para4: individuals can do something too (another reason)
para5: conclusion
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try to put five paragraphs in your future essays. two paragraphs for the support side, one paragraph for the side you may not support or for another opinion.
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'On the other hand' means 'However'. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 281 350
No. of Characters: 1379 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.094 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.907 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.772 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.385 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.564 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5