Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extend to you agree or disagree?
In the modernised era, there are many new born super stars from difference kinds of work. Many people opine that these celebrities become famous because of their charm and wealth rather than their accomplishments which could be a bad instance for youngsters. I strongly agree with this statement. I shall focus on 2 reasons to support my opinion.
One of the factor that supports the idea is negative peer pressure. Nowadays, these famous people have great impact on children. For example, young people who desire to follow their role model style, almost all of them don't totally understand just keep imitate their idol because they see that, it is a cool self-image. If their favourite stars like to purchase abundant money on unnecessary factors such as brand-name bags, shoes, dress etc. This behaviour would build up the misunderstanding of how to spend and earn the budget to people in the new generation. Thus, it is no doubt that why these stars could be the fault example.
A further point to consider is dangerous motivation. For instance, Internet connects people to close with each other same as fans can see their stars's lifestyle by the application in phone. Then when teens see their idol wear luxury accessories, they will looking forward to this kind of lives and If they think that live like their super stars could be a famous person, they desire to get stuff without effort. Therefore, it will give a negative effects for the society.
Having analysed the issued, it is clear that celebrities could be the bad example to teens. There can be no doubt that their glamour and wealth has the greatest influence on young people which can lead to many serious problems. I suggest that, parents should teach students that which stars are good or bad to follow.
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One of the factor that supports the idea
One of the factors that supports the idea
almost all of them don't totally understand just keep imitate their idol
almost all of them don't totally understand but just keep imitate their idols
Sentence: Then when teens see their idol wear luxury accessories, they will looking forward to this kind of lives and If they think that live like their super stars could be a famous person, they desire to get stuff without effort.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present participle or gerund
Suggestion: Refer to will and looking
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 304 350
No. of Characters: 1438 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.176 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.73 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.428 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 89 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.753 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.495 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.038 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5