Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
With the rapid development of technology era, children have no problem to access to the most convenience devices and get unhealthy lifestyle easily. Somehow, these comforts cause an urgent problem for schools, family and children to solve and point out the responsibility for them.
From my view, children have many conveniences, latest tech-devices, which are very useful ways to connect with the wide world, get the information immediately, get in touch with everyone and do much more things. However, this support is not always good for children’ development.
Many children now are facing with obesity, not very socialize, don’t complete their study or daily tasks and etc. The main reason why they are living with this unhealthy lifestyle is because they have anything always on-used (they receive latest technology and use smartphones, computers or TVs every day for a long time and don’t exercise enough); therefore, they will be lazy and inactive.
For that reason schools, families and themselves should pay attention on this uneasy solved issue. Parents are the ones who get in touch most with their offspring’s; as the result, they receive the second highest responsibility to change their children bad live-way. In additions, they should spend more time with their children to do family activities likes: go camping, do sport, civilize children soft skills, etc.
Schools also play an important role, as they refers to the children’s “second home”. At school, teachers can teach many students at the same time, and they get easier to observe those learning, especially when they study with friends. To make the activities more enjoyable, teachers can divide students in smaller groups and organize team activities regularly.
From my own experience, children themselves take the highest responsibility to this issue. If only they desired to change, they could change. But at first, they must receive enough education to clarify their mind how importance of this matter is. After that, they should expand their knowledge and experience enough to change their bad habits successfully. I used to depend on those tech-conveniences for roughly two years. To suffer that problem, I have tried tons of ways and was failed million times. And finally, I found that using to-dos tasks is the most efficient way for me. Every single they, I plan a detailed study schedule and write that plan in to-do note, when I complete a task, I will tick the box and cross that activity.
In conclusion, every members that close most with that child and even itself should spend time to think about this matter clearly and solve it to change the unhealthy lifestyle that will no longer affect the child’s future.
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2023-07-21 | annaalysia007 | 84 | view |
2023-07-21 | annaalysia007 | 78 | view |
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2023-04-28 | nle2006 | 73 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 106, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
...n’t complete their study or daily tasks and etc. The main reason why they are living wit...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 231, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'receive the latest'.
Suggestion: receive the latest
... they have anything always on-used they receive latest technology and use smartphones, compute...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 418, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ort, civilize children soft skills, etc. Schools also play an important role, as ...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 46, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'refer'
Suggestion: refer
...ls also play an important role, as they refers to the children’s “second home”. At sch...
^^^^^^
Line 10, column 490, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a million'.
Suggestion: a million
... have tried tons of ways and was failed million times. And finally, I found that using ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, second, so, therefore, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 10.4138276553 202% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 13.0 7.30460921844 178% => OK
Pronoun: 53.0 24.0651302605 220% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 41.998997996 114% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.3376753507 108% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2294.0 1615.20841683 142% => OK
No of words: 440.0 315.596192385 139% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.21363636364 5.12529762239 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57997565096 4.20363070211 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69294686355 2.80592935109 96% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 176.041082164 139% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.554545454545 0.561755894193 99% => OK
syllable_count: 684.9 506.74238477 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 5.43587174349 239% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.76152304609 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 16.0721442886 131% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.8326378269 49.4020404114 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.238095238 106.682146367 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9523809524 20.7667163134 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.2380952381 7.06120827912 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 4.38176352705 160% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.259829205831 0.244688304435 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0822893841353 0.084324248473 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0574233626291 0.0667982634062 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140881064957 0.151304729494 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0547142975865 0.056905535591 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 13.0946893788 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 50.2224549098 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.4159519038 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.58950901804 94% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 78.4519038076 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.