In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing.What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Essay topics:

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness is decreasing.

What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

A number of nations in many continents is now facing one of the biggest problem of the health care system is that the increase of obesity while health and fitness are decreasing. In my opinion, the main causes of these issues are passive lifestyle and achievement obsession. And some of the solutions should be considered to resolve the situation such as encouraging sports and exercises as well as reducing achievement pressure.

one of the thing have to responsible for the overweight circumstance is the passive lifestyle. many people usually use busyness as their explanation for not doing any exercise or outdoor activities, although they still have time for social media and other hobbies. This is just a fallacy, as they do not prioritize practicing sports or having more active lifestyle. Another root-cause of obesity is achievement obsession, especially with students. many students when surveyed share that they could not manage to go to the gym or do any kind of exercise because of examination pressure. studying so much that they don’t even have time for enough sleep, as well as doing exercise. these reasons have contributed to make the average weight of some countries keep increasing.

The situation is dangerous for countries if they don’t focus to resolve, and I would suggest some solutions to reduce it. First of all, government should encourage citizens to do more exercise by organize free training for some of the sports like soccer, swimming, badminton… Furthermore, schools also needs to be involved by encouraging supporting students to create sport club, and organize competition with other schools so that students find it more joyful to play sports. Besides, reducing pressure on studying would also help student to pay their attention to other activities like hanging out with friends or doing exercise,…In order to do that, education system should focus more on comprehensive development rather than only academic subjects. Once building the habit successfully, people cannot live without doing a healthy exercise schedule. If majority people of one country follow a regular basis exercise on whatever sports or activities that they like, that country will definitely increase the level of health and fitness.

In conclusion, lack of exercises and outdoor activities as well as high pressure on academic achievement are the two main causes of the obesity. The countries that faced the problem should focus on helping people to create habit of doing exercise as well as releasing students from achievement obsession. I believe, if the nation do above actions for one or two generations, the circumstance of health decreasing and overweight will be controlled and reduced.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Essays by user TTTHOM :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 280, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ifestyle and achievement obsession. And some of the solutions should be considered to resol...
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Line 1, column 431, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... well as reducing achievement pressure. one of the thing have to responsible for...
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Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: One
...l as reducing achievement pressure. one of the thing have to responsible for th...
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Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Many
... circumstance is the passive lifestyle. many people usually use busyness as their ex...
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Line 3, column 449, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Many
...nt obsession, especially with students. many students when surveyed share that they ...
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Line 3, column 587, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Studying
...ercise because of examination pressure. studying so much that they don't even have ...
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Line 3, column 685, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: These
...nough sleep, as well as doing exercise. these reasons have contributed to make the av...
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Line 5, column 229, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... exercise by organize free training for some of the sports like soccer, swimming, badminton...
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Line 5, column 637, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , …
...nging out with friends or doing exercise,…In order to do that, education system sh...
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Line 5, column 639, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...ing out with friends or doing exercise,…In order to do that, education system shou...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, furthermore, if, so, still, well, while, in conclusion, kind of, such as, as well as, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 10.4138276553 163% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 24.0651302605 100% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 41.998997996 131% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.3376753507 192% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2296.0 1615.20841683 142% => OK
No of words: 431.0 315.596192385 137% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32714617169 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55637350225 4.20363070211 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9006718924 2.80592935109 103% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 176.041082164 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.503480278422 0.561755894193 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 729.0 506.74238477 144% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 16.0721442886 112% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.3229666933 49.4020404114 138% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.555555556 106.682146367 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9444444444 20.7667163134 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.77777777778 7.06120827912 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.01903807615 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176109109814 0.244688304435 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.058575656707 0.084324248473 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0372761277772 0.0667982634062 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117316187916 0.151304729494 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0283700892631 0.056905535591 50% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 13.0946893788 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 50.2224549098 79% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 11.3001002004 119% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.93 12.4159519038 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.62 8.58950901804 100% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 78.4519038076 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 9.78957915832 123% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.