Some people prefer hobbies that require technology while some people think that hobbies do notvrequire technology Discuss both views and give your opinion

The opportunities that the new technologies brought to our lives has also changed the classic patterns of entertainment and made computer games and movies significant amusement source. There is a group of people who prefer hobbies that require endless hours in front of the computer screens. By contrast, the other group select traditional hobbies without technological devices. To my way of thinking, technology is both curse and gift. However, traditional hobbies are more advantageous in terms of human health.
On the one hand, it is commonly maintained that the modern technology offers a great deal of opportunities to the users. As computer games are more customizable than the real world, they can provide more hilarious and satisfying activities to the gamers. Moreover, advent of the new technologies in computer graphics provide us quite realistic view and scenes, which are hardly distinctive than the outside world. Additionally, some worldwide problems such as global pandemic, which is very actual issue, can prevent the traditional hobbies while making technology related activities inevitable.
On the other hand, traditional hobbies are safer for human health, while people can be victim to serious eye illnesses, which are one of the most noticeable problems of the last decades, with excessive use of computers or mobile phones. Furthermore, hobbies like running, hiking or camping even boosts human health and keep their body fit. Moreover, technological activities lead to addiction as they do not bore or tire their audience, resulting in high level of time consumption. Finally, technology related hobbies can wipe out the sense of challenge and success as they are mostly programmed to be straightforward and effortless for the users.
To conclude, in spite of the fact that modern technology can enhance the rate of entertainment and pleasure to some extent, they lead to serious and deleterious effects for the mankind.

Votes
Average: 6.7 (1 vote)
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 198, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'groups'?
Suggestion: groups
...gnificant amusement source. There are a group of people who prefer hobbies that requi...
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Line 1, column 466, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lthier and more beneficial in terms of. On the one hand, it is commonly maintain...
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Line 4, column 187, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd deleterious effects for the mankind.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, furthermore, if, moreover, so, while, such as, in spite of, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 10.4138276553 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 14.0 24.0651302605 58% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 41.998997996 83% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1606.0 1615.20841683 99% => OK
No of words: 297.0 315.596192385 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.40740740741 5.12529762239 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.15134772569 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98029823266 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 176.041082164 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.579124579125 0.561755894193 103% => OK
syllable_count: 499.5 506.74238477 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.4531646119 49.4020404114 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.538461538 106.682146367 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8461538462 20.7667163134 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.07692307692 7.06120827912 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.272381742295 0.244688304435 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0927391839257 0.084324248473 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0541678871087 0.0667982634062 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154610992757 0.151304729494 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0414510044612 0.056905535591 73% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 13.0946893788 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 50.2224549098 81% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 11.3001002004 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.39 12.4159519038 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.98 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 78.4519038076 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 9.78957915832 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.