Some say that because many people are living much longer the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably To what extent do you agree or disagree Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

Essay topics:

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, the number of senior citizens is living much longer after retirement. As a result, it has appeared an argument that the age that people retire from work at should be raised dramatically. However, I am of the opinion that the retirement age should not be modified for several following factors.
To begin with, the elderly should worth having such a long time after retiring from work. To be more specific, the elderly had dedicated most of their life to contributing to the development of their workplaces, as well as their nation. Thus, they deserve a long time to enjoy life after retiring from work. Moreover, retired citizens are able to make some contribution to society. For example, Vietnamese elderly people’s organization often held music festivals to help disadvantaged children in remote or mountainous areas by the money they gain from selling tickets.
Besides, job opportunities ought to be given to other promising generations. This means that the young who have lots of profound determination and prominent talents are more likely to devote their youth to developing themselves and bettering their countries while the elderly residents enjoy their after-retiring lifetime.
All in all, I disagree with the belief that there should be an increase in the retirement age due to the fact that not only can young generations have more choices of jobs, but the elderly people deserve a long time to unwind after working in a dedicate way for a lengthy period as well.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 244, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... a long time to unwind after working in a dedicate way for a lengthy period as well.
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...cate way for a lengthy period as well.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, but, however, if, moreover, so, thus, well, while, for example, as a result, as well as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 10.4138276553 38% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 24.0651302605 79% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 41.998997996 88% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.3376753507 96% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1252.0 1615.20841683 78% => OK
No of words: 245.0 315.596192385 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11020408163 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.95632099841 4.20363070211 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84412779081 2.80592935109 101% => OK
Unique words: 150.0 176.041082164 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.612244897959 0.561755894193 109% => OK
syllable_count: 399.6 506.74238477 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.5018349184 49.4020404114 145% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.818181818 106.682146367 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2727272727 20.7667163134 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.0909090909 7.06120827912 143% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.223838177354 0.244688304435 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0966380845502 0.084324248473 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.075619765152 0.0667982634062 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147982814781 0.151304729494 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0968619723005 0.056905535591 170% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 13.0946893788 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 50.2224549098 98% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.3001002004 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.4159519038 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.92 8.58950901804 104% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 78.4519038076 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
More content wanted.
Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.