Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the question of whether some people’s success is mostly attributable to luck instead of their own hard work aroused people’s discussion. From my perspective, I totally disagree with this statement.
I am in favor the idea that only determined and industrious people will be successful in whatever they do. There are some salient examples, like Steve Jobs and Nick Vujicic. Steve Jobs spent thousands of hours coding and experimenting to bring out the great Macintosh operating system that we use today. Another clear case of success through determination is Nick Vujicic, an Australian motivational speaker, who suffered from a rare disorder which resulted in the absence of four limbs. Despite not having any hands or legs, Vujicic earned a bachelor degree with a double major in accountancy and financial planning; he had his own family, and now he travels around the world to inspire people as a motivational speaker.
Furthermore, I may argue that luck is only a small factor in determining one’s achievement. First, since hardworking people usually attain their goals, people cannot solely be reliant on luck to become successful. For example, if a student does not study for an exam, he or she will be fail, no matter how lucky he or she may be. Second, luck only contributes to short-term fortune. For example, a person who wins a lottery is definitely lucky because winning a lottery does not require you to do anything to earn it. However, because it purely depends on luck, he or she cannot win the lottery for the rest of his or her life.
In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that in order to achieve objectives in life, one must be extremely determined and hardworking to follow his or her passion till the end.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 11, Rule ID: WHETHER[3]
Message: Wordiness: Shorten this phrase to the shortest possible suggestion.
Suggestion: whether; the question whether
Nowadays, the question of whether some people’s success is mostly attribu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, second, so, for example, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 13.1623246493 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 24.0651302605 129% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 37.0 41.998997996 88% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1482.0 1615.20841683 92% => OK
No of words: 299.0 315.596192385 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.95652173913 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1583189471 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83184981683 2.80592935109 101% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 176.041082164 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.642140468227 0.561755894193 114% => OK
syllable_count: 470.7 506.74238477 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.10420841683 143% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.76152304609 105% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0721442886 87% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.9328942984 49.4020404114 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.857142857 106.682146367 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3571428571 20.7667163134 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.78571428571 7.06120827912 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.120330072685 0.244688304435 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.040364592389 0.084324248473 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.046486273953 0.0667982634062 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0780717143004 0.151304729494 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0679193564166 0.056905535591 119% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 13.0946893788 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 50.2224549098 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 12.4159519038 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.9 8.58950901804 104% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 78.4519038076 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.