Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

It goes without saying that in today's complicated and progressive world we live, children's educational success is one of the most critical contemplations for parents, and they are always seeking for possible ways to encourage their kids to become more interested in studying. In this regard, there has always been a controversial debate among people around the issue of whether providing pupils with financial reward for their performance is a suitable strategy or not? Personally speaking, I strongly believe that offering money in exchange for kids' high grades has multiple benefits and worthy of support. Two reasons to substantiate my viewpoint are provided in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, money can serve as a proper stimulator to encourage students for studying harder and enhancing their grades. It is crystal clear that since school-age kids cannot understand what things are exactly beneficial for them and studying may seem as a tedious activity for them, it is parents responsibility to provide them with the appropriate motives to stay in the correct direction. Promising children for giving a persuading amount of money as a reward for outstanding grades in their classes can provide them with enough motive to overcome the hardships of studying and even make kids more interested in their studies. An example can drive this notion home correctly. I remember when I was a third-grade student, my least favorite course was mathematic, and my grades in this course had reduced my overall score dramatically. After my math teacher talked to my parents about my weak performance in his class, they decided to encourage me with some money. "We will pay you a hundred bucks if you get an A in your mathematic class." my parents told me. Since I could have bought my favorite video game with that money, not only I tried and got An A+ in my math class, but also I became interested in that course and decided to pursue my major in a mathematically based topic. Had not my parents offered me money to improve my grades in math, I would have remained as a math hatred student.

Moreover, by offering kids with money as a reward for their high marks, parents teach a precious lesson to their children, that money should be earned with effort, and it certainly has some positive effects in their future. To put it in a more vivid picture, if parents give their kids money whenever they simply asked, children would not become familiar with the notion that money is not an easy thing to gain and they would possibly face some financial problems in their next stages of life. On the other hand, If kids comprehend that they are getting that money because they have something valuable to offer in return, not only it would stimulate them to enhance their abilities to gain more money, but also makes them more successful when they become adults. A research conducted in Arizona state university revealed that persons who offered financial motives by their parents in return of high grades in their school times became more financially independent in their adulthood.

In conclusion, considering all the abovementioned points and reasons into account, I firmly support the idea of providing money to children for their remarkable school performance, not only because the role that money plays as an excellent motive for children to study but also because it has lessons to be learned for children and can enhance their future quality of life.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1019, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'an' or 'A' is left.
Suggestion: an; A
...will pay you a hundred bucks if you get an A in your mathematic class.' my pare...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, moreover, so, third, in conclusion, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 80.0 43.0788530466 186% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 52.1666666667 144% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2896.0 1977.66487455 146% => OK
No of words: 579.0 407.700716846 142% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.00172711572 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90534594407 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71015110804 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 287.0 212.727598566 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495682210708 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 913.5 618.680645161 148% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 32.0 20.1344086022 159% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 82.2778528021 48.9658058833 168% => OK
Chars per sentence: 160.888888889 100.406767564 160% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.1666666667 20.6045352989 156% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.88888888889 5.45110844103 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.345568893641 0.236089414692 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112999846683 0.076458572812 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0638723265067 0.0737576698707 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.22259680627 0.150856017488 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0545202691656 0.0645574589148 84% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.2 11.7677419355 155% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.0 58.1214874552 67% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 10.1575268817 156% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 10.9000537634 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.88 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 134.0 86.8835125448 154% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 10.0537634409 147% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.