Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

The question is whether giving money to school-age children for receiving the high grades can be advantageous or not. Everyone in consideration to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement; however, I am inclined to affirm that if this idea is done in a logical way without any extremism, parent will observe a constructive consequence in their children's education, personality and future. I feel this way for some reasons, which I will explore them in following essay to empower my point of view:

To begin with, nobody could overlook this fact that the young children may find some troubles in confronting with school and study. Since their mind is involved of the condition of per-schools where offer the play and joy to children; hence; the compulsory requirements for studying and getting A or B grades would make them bewildered. It can be said that families should provide some approaches to assist their young for overcoming this situation. Suggesting a little money can motivate children to make efforts for getting better in the class rooms. Such a great reward increases the rate of Dopamine in children's brain and needless to say that this chemical substance is responsible for creating of happiness and concentration.

The second reason for my argument is lies in the reality of competition. One should notice that if this plan is supposed to launch among families, all of the young students for taking advantage of money, will attempt to be the best in the class. It goes without saying that the competition level in the schools will improve and spontaneously this little generation will do more endeavors to obtain more resources or participate in the class discussions and so on. This opportunity helps parents to have highly motivated children, meanwhile the government will take the young into account as a part of success in community and it will prefer to invest in more schools.

Moreover, there is a bit of different here. Money can give the young a confidence feeling; therefore, they would manage their money for doing miscellaneous points. One should not forget that other skills such as self-sufficient burgeon gradually.

To sum up, this conclusion could be drawn that the mentioned idea can lead students to study eagerly and encourage them for much competition. In this way, students' personality would form with boosting up their self-esteem.

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Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 287, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a logical way" with adverb for "logical"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ned to affirm that if this idea is done in a logical way without any extremism, parent will obse...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 148, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...n is supposed to launch among families, all of the young students for taking advantage of ...
^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
hence, however, if, look, may, moreover, second, so, therefore, while, i feel, such as, to begin with, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 9.8082437276 224% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 8.0752688172 211% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2028.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 395.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.13417721519 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45809453852 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88509865754 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 212.727598566 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.572151898734 0.524837075471 109% => OK
syllable_count: 607.5 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.7504480272 48.9658058833 142% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.75 100.406767564 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6875 20.6045352989 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.45110844103 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.343856027971 0.236089414692 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.105123428316 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0702638421495 0.0737576698707 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177327694582 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0753510110318 0.0645574589148 117% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 11.7677419355 128% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.78 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 86.8835125448 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 10.002688172 180% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.