Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
In today's modern world, bringing up children in a excellent manner is a crucial and vital issue among parents. While some hold the view that money is a good motivation for student in order to get high score in scholl, I disagree with the idea and strongly belive that money is not a good stiumalation for pupils. I feel this way for two conspicuous reasons which are pinpointed in the following.
To begin with, parents expectation and their financial motivation has negetive effects on their spirit. Since, children will be under the high pressure in order to gain parents admition, which is leads to children disappointment. when they do not fulfill the parents expectation they will feel they are useless people in the society, by doing so and enhancing this negetive feeling, they do not concentrate on their lessons, or even on other aspects of their abilities. My personal example is a compelling evidence for this issue. When I was8 years old, my family offerd me gifts for gaining high marks; however, after a while, when I could not get top score, I felt the world was ended and my parents would never love me,likewise before. As time went past, this negetive feeling accumulated and I turned to a depressed person. Although after the
secondly, it stands to reason that, students for getting their gift may turn to unappropriate behavior such as cheating as well as lieing which have destructive influence in their personalities. When the find that they can not fulfill parents' expectation, even by studying hard, they have to lie to announce the score and do not be honest with their family members. This issue causes negetive effect of society's culture and the shadow of unhonestly dominant all over the society.
In conclussion, by taking account all above reasons and many ohters, offering money as a gift to pupils for getting high score, has not only negetive effect on their spirit, but also destructive influence on their charachteristics.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 46, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a excellent manner" with adverb for "excellent"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...days modern world, bringing up children in a excellent manner is a crucial and vital issue among pare...
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Line 1, column 49, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...s modern world, bringing up children in a excellent manner is a crucial and vital...
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Line 2, column 230, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...ch is leads to children disappointment. when they do not fulfill the parents expecta...
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Line 2, column 259, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'parents'' or 'parent's'?
Suggestion: parents'; parent's
...pointment. when they do not fulfill the parents expectation they will feel they are use...
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Line 2, column 634, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...gh marks; however, after a while, when I could not get top score, I felt the worl...
^^
Line 2, column 722, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , likewise
...ended and my parents would never love me,likewise before. As time went past, this negetiv...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 403, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rs. This issue causes negetive effect of societys culture and the shadow of unho...
^^
Line 3, column 439, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t of societys culture and the shadow of unhonestly dominant all over the society...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, honestly, however, if, likewise, may, second, secondly, so, well, while, i feel, such as, as well as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1633.0 1977.66487455 83% => OK
No of words: 330.0 407.700716846 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.94848484848 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.26214759535 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74861180422 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.560606060606 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 500.4 618.680645161 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.6003584229 63% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.2359266875 48.9658058833 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.615384615 100.406767564 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.3846153846 20.6045352989 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.69230769231 5.45110844103 178% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.312595636881 0.236089414692 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102680550738 0.076458572812 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0625795091885 0.0737576698707 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188055056461 0.150856017488 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0376239189759 0.0645574589148 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 11.7677419355 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.7 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 86.8835125448 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.