Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
These days in modern societies, education play a major role in individual's prosperity. People pay remarkable attention to the education and parents especially give considerable supervision on their children education. They try to encourage their children using variety of methods such as endeavor-reward system. Some people argue that using monetary rewards for children is an unhealthy method, However I believe that it is beneficial for children for two reasons.
First, creating an incentive for children will encourage them to work hard while enjoying the task. By motivating children, the interest in their studying is sustained through the whole academic year and this leads to their success. my own experience is a compelling example of this. I remember vividly when I was a child, I spent most of my time playing video games. My parents set me a reward for my academic record and proposed it to me. I accepted it an from that day I started to spend most of the time on my assignments and school works. Considering the reward just made me so determined and I became a hardworking student. Finally, I was among the top students of that academic year and it really inspired me to pursue my education to higher degrees in future. Therefore, setting tangible goals for children can be important as the intangible ones.
Second, by receiving money from parents children can learn how to manage their own money in their earlier life time. This can heavily impact on their financial perspectives and developing personality and character in the future. For instance, As far as I remember, I always receive pocket money from my parents and I used to buy chocolates and candies. But, after I received my first monetary reward for my hardworking and perseverance in studying which led to obtaining high academic records, my view about spending that was changed. Because, it was from my own attempt, I decided to save it in a account bank in order to earn some interest in future. Thus, giving money to children for what they have truley worked for can affect on their view about spending it.
In conclusion, although some people argue that setting tangible reward such as money is an unhealthy method for children, I personally believe that it is significant in their prosperity and personality. Because not only it helps to reach success in their academic performance, but also develop their financial perspectives at early stages.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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...c year and this leads to their success. my own experience is a compelling example ...
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...rd and proposed it to me. I accepted it an from that day I started to spend most o...
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Suggestion: in the future
...o pursue my education to higher degrees in future. Therefore, setting tangible goals for ...
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Suggestion: lifetime
...manage their own money in their earlier life time. This can heavily impact on their finan...
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Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
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...my own attempt, I decided to save it in a account bank in order to earn some inte...
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Suggestion: in the future
...unt bank in order to earn some interest in future. Thus, giving money to children for wha...
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...or what they have truley worked for can affect on their view about spending it. In concl...
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...financial perspectives at early stages.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, really, second, so, therefore, thus, while, for instance, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2028.0 1977.66487455 103% => OK
No of words: 404.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0198019802 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85195351626 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527227722772 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 643.5 618.680645161 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.751661896 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.5714285714 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2380952381 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.71428571429 5.45110844103 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.224504193236 0.236089414692 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0698947473559 0.076458572812 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0504025927754 0.0737576698707 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145214537113 0.150856017488 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0267668911671 0.0645574589148 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 86.8835125448 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.