TPO-35 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by daryash72 on Thu, 07/26/2018 - 13:25

Everybody knows that, all the people in the world should have privacy, but the famous people, like as athletic people, should use to journalists are always looking for them and they are aware of every details of their life. In my opinion, famous life’s like as living on the glassy house, they couldn’t do something without no one’s knows. But it has some advantages and disadvantages, that I want to discuss about them.

First, most of the young people dream is become rich and famous and some them trying hard to achieve their dreams, like as actors and models or dancers, therefor, most of the people well known them and it’s a fantastic point, to be a head titre of magazines and online web sites to absorbing people, so that person gets rich, and most of the advertising grateful if they advertise their product. For example, when I was 5, I loved horses, and we always had a lots of horses because my father was training them and my mother sold their kids to customers. Most of the time I played with them and enjoy my time to Imagined about horse race that I would win when I grow up. So, my family admitted me to learned horse riding and when I become 16 I won a gold cup. And that was the first step of my famous luxurious lifestyle. Most of the time the people called me by my horse name ‘’HIRAD’’ that was an Arabic dark brown with white dots horse that everybody loved him. And our fans share our pictures on their web pages. After 20 years, my lovely horse got old and unfortunately, he got sick and we should have euthanized him. But I really loved that famous lifestyle.

Second, sometimes, some people bothering some famous athletics, and write comments some bad words in their Instagram pages. Especially when one team win, the looser fan team get angry and argued with the winner so the police cops should have arrested them.

In conclusion, the way of be famous is all the people talks about, their life, their clothes, their relationships, and all the details of their life. I hope my examples has sufficiently expressed my opinion.

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Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 464, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a lot' or simply 'lots'?
Suggestion: a lot; lots
...as 5, I loved horses, and we always had a lots of horses because my father was trainin...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 714, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to horse'
Suggestion: to horse
...p. So, my family admitted me to learned horse riding and when I become 16 I won a gol...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, look, really, second, so, well, for example, in conclusion, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 0.0 8.0752688172 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1734.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 370.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.68648648649 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7628443649 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.540540540541 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 534.6 618.680645161 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 9.0 1.86738351254 482% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 84.0683315821 48.9658058833 172% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.375 100.406767564 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.125 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5625 5.45110844103 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0312574912738 0.236089414692 13% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.011155070798 0.076458572812 15% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0106849474122 0.0737576698707 14% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0244739250777 0.150856017488 16% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00606569126164 0.0645574589148 9% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 11.7677419355 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 58.1214874552 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.22 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.64 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 86.8835125448 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.