Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.To what extent do you agree or

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Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The state of parenthood in children development often make arguable condition, including the thought of fatherhood to become as important as motherhood. To begin with, I consider that both of the parent’s role has the equal state to raise their children in any condition.

Women has privileges to decide to have babies and consider themselves to have more responsibility to nurture their children. In fact, mother’s role nowadays has many obligations involving become driver to send and pick up at school, tutor their school lessons, making foods, and make sure their behavior in appropriate way. This circumstance generate a diminished-fatherhood effect in children’s customary and make a paradigm towards the children, who usually share stories and asking permission to their mother closely.

Therefore, as prevention, the parents should divide their responsibilities in order to bringing their children up. Encompassing fatherhood in children’s mind should be stemming earlier after birth. Father is quite common as financial supporter in family, which means there is a gap between their kids. Instead, due to the fact that each parent has their own way of problem solving on certain situation (illness, social problem, etc.), father also able to do his duties to look after their children, as well as mother did. Thus, the connection between father and children can be tighten up.

In conclusion, the emphasizing of both fatherhood and motherhood is the better way than biased in one-side, in order to avoid detrimental effect in the future caused by the lack of parent’s attention. Otherwise, children need to have inextricably bond between them in equality.

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The state of parenthood in children development often make arguable condition
The state of parenthood in children development often makes arguable conditions

Sentence: The state of parenthood in children development often make arguable condition, including the thought of fatherhood to become as important as motherhood.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and development

Sentence: In fact, mother's role nowadays has many obligations involving become driver to send and pick up at school, tutor their school lessons, making foods, and make sure their behavior in appropriate way.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to tutor and their

Sentence: This circumstance generate a diminished-fatherhood effect in children's customary and make a paradigm towards the children, who usually share stories and asking permission to their mother closely.
Description: The fragment circumstance generate a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace generate with verb, past tense

have inextricably bond
have inextricable bond

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 261 350
No. of Characters: 1366 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.019 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.234 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.982 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 78 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.936 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.591 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.076 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5