The following appeared in an e-mail sent by the marketing director of the Classical Shakespeare Theatre of Bardville.
"Over the past ten years, there has been a 20 percent decline in the size of the average audience at Classical Shakespeare Theatre productions. In spite of increased advertising, we are attracting fewer and fewer people to our shows, causing our profits to decrease significantly. We must take action to attract new audience members. The best way to do so is by instituting a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program this summer. Two years ago the nearby Avon Repertory Company started a 'Free Plays in the Park' program, and its profits have increased 10 percent since then. Therefore, I recommend that we start a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program of our own. If we do so, I predict that our profits will also see a significant increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The speaker is arguing that by starting out Shakespeare in the Park program, hereafer the Program, in Bardville Theatre, hereafter, the Theatre there would be a increasement in the profit of the Theather. While the speaker is using some past examples and his or her own reasons that this measure would be a savor for delcling profit of the Theather, there are several unanswered questions that the speaker had not answered properly in order to save the Theather.
First, the nearby case of Anvon Repertory Company, hereafter the Company, needs to investigated to properly adapt similar method to the Theater. Altough the case is adjacent to The Theatre, the audiences that are visiting two cases might differ so significantly that it would be no safe guarantee that the audiences will react similarly to the Theatre. The speaker is dangerously assumingg that nearby vicinity means similarity in audiences. However, it is not always the case. Population characteristics could be quite different. Moreover, even assuming that population diversity could be similar in two case does not solely aussures the success in the Theather since there is a time gap of two years between the two cases. We need to assimilate details of the case to be sure.
Second, even though the people are similar and time, the method that the Company took could effect differently to the Theather since it was "Free plays" in the Company. There are several questions to be answered in order to find out that why the Company's plan was successful for them. In case of Company, it could be something other than the play that were profittable. The basic difference setting at first should be analyzed. Moreover, we need to see that the cost of the Company in order to find out how they were profitting in net amount. We need tosee the report that indicates the resources the Company was using and the cost of it. Otherwise, there is low guarantee that the Company was profitting and similar measure will be profittable for the Theatre.
Last but not least, we need to question the way that the Theather had advertised properly in the past. Although the speaker is mentioning they were increasing their cost in advertising, there is no explanation about how they were spent. There might be a mistake in advertising methods. They are maybe advertising in the media that are not not considered efficient, while the cost is still high. Maybe they need to advertise in different media such as Social Media as trends in thesedays are changing fast, fleetingly. Moreover, 20 percent decrease of size in average does not adequetly mean that they are losing their audiences. Percents and averages are always need background information such as past definite numbers and the difference in the each shows. There might be sckwedness in audiences and some shows are popluar while other shows were not. We need to question such details in order to cope with the fiasco that the Theatre is having. Qualified statics can be misleading, while convincing at first glace.
In conclusion, we need to see the details in both the case of the Company and the Theatre in order to justly accomodate the audiences for the Theatre. Using superficial methods that were seemlingly successful for the Company would not guarantee the finance of the Theatre. They could, rather, danger the Theatre.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The speaker is arguing that by starting out Shakespeare in the Park program, hereafer the Program, in Bardville Theatre, hereafter, the Theatre there would be a increasement in the profit of the Theather.
Error: hereafer Suggestion: hereafter
Error: increasement Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: While the speaker is using some past examples and his or her own reasons that this measure would be a savor for delcling profit of the Theather, there are several unanswered questions that the speaker had not answered properly in order to save the Theather.
Error: delcling Suggestion: decline
Sentence: The speaker is dangerously assumingg that nearby vicinity means similarity in audiences.
Error: assumingg Suggestion: assuming
Sentence: Moreover, even assuming that population diversity could be similar in two case does not solely aussures the success in the Theather since there is a time gap of two years between the two cases.
Error: aussures Suggestion: assures
Sentence: In case of Company, it could be something other than the play that were profittable.
Error: profittable Suggestion: profitable
Sentence: Moreover, we need to see that the cost of the Company in order to find out how they were profitting in net amount.
Error: profitting Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: We need tosee the report that indicates the resources the Company was using and the cost of it.
Error: tosee Suggestion: to see
Sentence: Otherwise, there is low guarantee that the Company was profitting and similar measure will be profittable for the Theatre.
Error: profittable Suggestion: profitable
Error: profitting Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Maybe they need to advertise in different media such as Social Media as trends in thesedays are changing fast, fleetingly.
Error: thesedays Suggestion: these days
Sentence: Moreover, 20 percent decrease of size in average does not adequetly mean that they are losing their audiences.
Error: adequetly Suggestion: adequately
Sentence: There might be sckwedness in audiences and some shows are popluar while other shows were not.
Error: sckwedness Suggestion: scenes
Error: popluar Suggestion: popular
Sentence: In conclusion, we need to see the details in both the case of the Company and the Theatre in order to justly accomodate the audiences for the Theatre.
Error: accomodate Suggestion: accommodate
Sentence: Using superficial methods that were seemlingly successful for the Company would not guarantee the finance of the Theatre.
Error: seemlingly Suggestion: seemingly
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK but not exactly
argument 3 -- not OK
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Let's analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
Over the past ten years, there has been a 20 percent decline in the size of the average audience at Classical Shakespeare Theatre productions. In spite of increased advertising, we are attracting fewer and fewer people to our shows, causing our profits to decrease significantly. We must take action to attract new audience members. The best way to do so is by instituting a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program this summer. // your argument 3, but it is a little bit away.
in your argument:
There might be a mistake in advertising methods. They are maybe advertising in the media that are not not considered efficient, while the cost is still high. Maybe they need to advertise in different media such as Social Media as trends in thesedays are changing fast, fleetingly.//
suppose the method is good enough, maybe still it is not good to lunch ‘Shakespeare in the Park’ program. for example, there would other reasons cause the decline of audience such as economic crisis, or a decline in population city or region density, or decreased quality of the shows, or there are more competitors, etc..
in your argument:
Moreover, 20 percent decrease of size in average does not adequetly mean that they are losing their audiences. Percents and averages are always need background information such as past definite numbers and the difference in the each shows. There might be sckwedness in audiences and some shows are popluar while other shows were not. //
this is a wrong argument. anyway, the size of average audience has decreased 20%, here we need to argue whether the ‘Shakespeare in the Park’ program will help or not.
condition 2:
Two years ago the nearby Avon Repertory Company started a 'Free Plays in the Park' program, and its profits have increased 10 percent since then. //your argument 1 OK
conclusion:
Therefore, I recommend that we start a 'Shakespeare in the Park' program of our own. If we do so, I predict that our profits will also see a significant increase.//your argument 2 , but not exactly, need to argue whether the profits will also see a significant increase.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 16 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 560 350
No. of Characters: 2718 1500
No. of Different Words: 230 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.865 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.854 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.595 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 180 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 155 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.31 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.27 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.552 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.281 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.458 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 160, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
..., hereafter, the Theatre there would be a increasement in the profit of the Theat...
^
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
... the method that the Company took could effect differently to the Theather since it wa...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 335, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: not
...maybe advertising in the media that are not not considered efficient, while the cost is...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 662, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'needed'.
Suggestion: needed
...ences. Percents and averages are always need background information such as past def...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, moreover, second, similarly, so, still, while, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 44.0 19.6327345309 224% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.9520958084 185% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2793.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 560.0 441.139720559 127% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9875 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.8645985582 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70002775401 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.426785714286 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 865.8 705.55239521 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 53.3497868992 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.3103448276 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3103448276 23.324526521 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.41379310345 5.70786347227 60% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0703840739605 0.218282227539 32% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0206271999121 0.0743258471296 28% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0304754045688 0.0701772020484 43% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0428155484235 0.128457276422 33% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0241700917276 0.0628817314937 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 122.0 98.500998004 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.