The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.
"Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire, because it has spectacular natural beauty and a consistent climate.
Another advantage is that housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns.
Moreover, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services.
And best of all, retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
An article in a magazine stated that Clearview is the best place to be retired because it has excellent health care opportunities, the mayor has promised a lot of development and that the costs would remain lower for a consistent period. However, one cannot be totally convinced with the article's claim until the following evidences are provided.
Firstly, the article states that Clearview has excellent health care opportunities as there are more physicians in the area. The higher number of physicians doesn't guarantee a better health care. Factors such as hospitals, insurance, subsidy on treatment, better doctors and staff, availability of latest machines, etc determine the state of the health care.A retired employee, with a history of heart disease would be happier if there's a hospital in the vicinity than a physician. A physician cannot completely cater to the different requirements of the patients. Unless there's an establishment of a hospital and state of the art health care equipment, with discounted operation facilities, then the claim regarding excellent health care can be justified.
Secondly, the mayor of Clearview has "promised" to improve schools, streets etc. A lot of political leaders promise multiple things, for example, Donald Trump promised to build a wall across Mexico border to curb illegal immigration. It's been more than 3 years, but still there's no sign of a wall. The mayor's promises are nothing but beguiling techniques to lure people. Promises are vocal statements and can be broken at any instant. A retired employee, investing his lifetime income for a place of residence shouldn't be deceived on false promises and should be chary about the promises. Unless there's a passed bill or an order for the development activities, there can't be conclusive evidence as to the promises made by the mayor would be fulfilled.
Thirdly, the article states that the housing prices would remain constant or less over the next few years. One cannot be sure on how the prices fluctuate across years. Housing is a booming industry and with increasing population and household, the demand for homes has increased, leading to increase in the cost incurred to purchase a home. The Clearview housing may not be popular at the moment, but as the demand increases, the prices may surge exponentially. This may impact the employees who would retire in a couple of years and would be hoping to purchase a home at the same cost as it is at the moment.Unless the mayor or the housing corporation sends out a notice or article that there wouldn't be any major surge in the housing costs, only then can the claims of reduced costs can be justified.
To conclude, the article states a lot of facts with unwarranted assumptions as stated above. Clearview can be termed as a haven for retired employees unless the necessary evidence is provided regarding the claims being made. Until then, the article shall remain flawed and retired employees would be looking for alternatives.
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2023-07-10 | shubham1102 | 58 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 496 350
No. of Characters: 2452 1500
No. of Different Words: 237 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.719 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.944 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.701 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.619 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.855 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.287 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 158, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...e area. The higher number of physicians doesnt guarantee a better health care. Factors...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 296, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'of the latest'.
Suggestion: of the latest
... better doctors and staff, availability of latest machines, etc determine the state of th...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 359, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: A
... determine the state of the health care.A retired employee, with a history of hea...
^
Line 3, column 431, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...ry of heart disease would be happier if theres a hospital in the vicinity than a physi...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 573, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...nt requirements of the patients. Unless theres an establishment of a hospital and stat...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 615, Rule ID: STATE_OF_THE_ART[1]
Message: Did you mean 'state-of-the-art'?
Suggestion: state-of-the-art
...eres an establishment of a hospital and state of the art health care equipment, with discounted ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 283, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
.... Its been more than 3 years, but still theres no sign of a wall. The mayors promises ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 320, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'promise'.
Suggestion: promise
...ll theres no sign of a wall. The mayors promises are nothing but beguiling techniques to...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 521, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: shouldn't
...ifetime income for a place of residence shouldnt be deceived on false promises and shoul...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 607, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...uld be chary about the promises. Unless theres a passed bill or an order for the devel...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 678, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...r for the development activities, there cant be conclusive evidence as to the promis...
^^^^
Line 7, column 610, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Unless
...at the same cost as it is at the moment.Unless the mayor or the housing corporation se...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 695, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...ends out a notice or article that there wouldnt be any major surge in the housing costs...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, regarding, second, secondly, still, then, third, thirdly, as to, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 10.0 28.8173652695 35% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2524.0 2260.96107784 112% => OK
No of words: 491.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14052953157 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70728369723 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88972827271 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.494908350305 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 783.0 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 72.2377988783 57.8364921388 125% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.727272727 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3181818182 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.90909090909 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.248474174644 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0748817302342 0.0743258471296 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0748120125575 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.164372958698 0.128457276422 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0740543985375 0.0628817314937 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 98.500998004 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.