The following report appeared in the newsletter of GoldenAge Independent and Assisted Living Facilities for Seniors.
"A novel therapy has come to our attention that promises to significantly decrease the incidence of dementia in our aging community. According to a 21-year study led by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and funded by the National Institute on Aging, while many physical activities like playing tennis or golf, swimming, bicycling, dancing, and walking for exercise provided cardiovascular benefits for seniors, only one physical activity offered protection against dementia: that was frequent dancing. At GoldenAge we currently provide residents with extensive recreational facilities. These include tennis courts, a fitness center, and lap pools in each senior apartment complex. However, we have no dance studio space at GoldenAge, nor any social dance programs.
Clearly, social dancing can prevent or delay the onset of dementia. Since the onset of dementia inevitably signals the imminent move of residents from our independent living apartments to the more heavily staffed and therefore more costly to operate assisted living quarters, we recommend the establishment of social dance programs at all GoldenAge senior residences—as a cost-effective, positive way to ward off dementia and enable our residents to remain in their independent living quarters."
Respond by writing an essay in which you discuss the specific evidence you would need to judge the validity of the argument and explain how this evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The given argument appeared in the newsletter of GoldenAge Independent and Assisted Living Facilities for Seniors suggesting that with the establishment of a dance programs at GoldenAge senior residences would help to eliminate the dementia in senior. The arguer has constructed his argument on the basis of results of 21 year long study. At first glance, the argument seems acceptable however, close examination unveil many fallacies and loop holes, making the argument vague.
First, the arguer has not mentioned the country or state where the study was conducted. He has supposed that people of whole world are facing same problem of dementia. The author has not considered the total number of senior citizens who are suffering form this disease. It is plausible that, there are only few people in the area who are affected by this disease.
Secondly, the study has not shown that, how many people were studied and how many were cured after dancing. Their might be some other underlying reasons of reduction or elimination of dementia those are not stated.
Thirdly, The arguer assumes that movement of senior residents from their independent living apartments to assisted living quarters is due to the emergence of this disease in them. However, he has not provided any evidence that whether, senior residents are moving because of disease or there is some other problem. It might be possible that senior residents are sick of isolation and they want to stay in some place where there are many people around them. It is also plausible that they are running short of funds to run their independent residence smoothly, or because of some physical weakness they are unable to perform their own tasks.
So, the author has given the recommendation of establishment of dance studio at GoldenAge to avoid the movement of senior residents to the place that might be cost-effective for the residents. Therefore, it can be inferred that the given argument is several unstated unsubstantiated assumption and an overall lack in logical reasoning and rationality. This insular argument stands on unproved hypothesis, and is rife with glitches.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 346 350
No. of Characters: 1755 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.313 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.072 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.689 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.918 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.319 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.107 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 176, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the establishment of a dance programs at GoldenAge senior residences would help t...
^^
Line 3, column 183, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...g reasons of reduction or elimination of dementia those are not stated. Thirdly,...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, third, thirdly
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1795.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 346.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18786127168 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31289638616 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75085757802 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.517341040462 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 576.0 705.55239521 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.1114834915 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.1875 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.625 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5625 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.132935688864 0.218282227539 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.040518074162 0.0743258471296 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0726791745311 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0683055192682 0.128457276422 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0573378383341 0.0628817314937 91% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.82 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.74 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.