Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
The argument is well presented that the author attributes the reported decline in deer population to global warming trends. Astonishingly plausible as the statement may sound, close scrutiny reveals it suffers from the absence of several pieces of key evidence, which, if unjustified, will cast doubt on the credibility of the argument. Therefore, we are inquiring more information about the deer population, their living conditions, and the local climate to better evaluate the claim.
To begin with, though we are informed that, according to hunters’ reports, the number of observed deer is decreasing, we are waiting for sound evidence to prove whether this description is true. On the one hand, we cannot rule out the possibility that the deer groups become cleverer and are able to cover themselves from local hunters. On the other hand, from the perspective of observers, maybe, to due outdated equipment and poor training, local hunters, in terms of the technological level, are more difficult to find the trace of deer populations. In such circumstances, the argument is open to doubt, because the real population of deer is relatively stable, if not increasing.
Moreover, by citing the recent news about global warming, the author seems to claim the local temperature is warm enough to interrupt deer’s migration patterns. However, since global warming trends are not significantly observed around the world, we need further information to know the change in local climates. For example, local temperature, on the contrary, could be lowering during this period, which is similar to what is happening in Greenland. If we cannot find robust evidence to support an increasing local temperature, it may hurt the aforementioned statement. If the environment is proved to be warmer by scientific research, we are more confident to claim the deer’s habitats are being threatened.
Granted the deer’s population is declining and the local temperature is rising, it still hasty to reach the conclusion that it is the melting sea ice is the main, if not the sole, cause taking responsibility of this consequence. We need more information to take account of various factors. For instance, the local government could recently lift the annual quota for the number of deer that is allowed to be hunted. Moreover, air and water pollution could also have detrimental effects on the deer population. Only after excluding the influence imposed by other important variables can we ensure the determining roles of global warming.
To summarize, as I have manifested above, it is too precipitous for the author to arrive at the conclusion absent obtaining several pieces of vital evidence. Though we cannot rule out the influence of global warming that gives rise to the reduction of deer’s habitat, we need more evidence about the accuracy of the reports, local temperature changes, and details of the living environment to better assess the argument.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. better to say: maybe the decline because of the illegal hunting.
argument 2 -- not OK. maybe there is no direct correlation between the decline and temperature.
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 471 350
No. of Characters: 2406 1500
No. of Different Words: 234 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.659 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.108 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.805 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 182 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 134 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.789 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.115 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.537 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.155 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 177, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
...y plausible as the statement may sound, close scrutiny reveals it suffers from the absence of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, therefore, well, for example, for instance, on the contrary, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 32.0 16.3942115768 195% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2510.0 2260.96107784 111% => OK
No of words: 471.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32908704883 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65859790218 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99296795907 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 204.123752495 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51804670913 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 791.1 705.55239521 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 2.70958083832 369% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 12.0 4.22255489022 284% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.1115525955 57.8364921388 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.105263158 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.7894736842 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.52631578947 5.70786347227 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.117396140634 0.218282227539 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0389325071302 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0242909474763 0.0701772020484 35% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.073722957359 0.128457276422 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0112377055514 0.0628817314937 18% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.93 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.25 8.32208582834 111% => OK
difficult_words: 132.0 98.500998004 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.