Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

In this society, people have just one idea, more money makes your life better. With the development of society, the age of people who have this idea decreases. Today, children who want to earn money is one of the most significant problems. So, they hate school since think they waste their time. From my perspective, I feel that one strategy to encourage them for going to school and take high grads is that parents offer money to them for each high-grade they get in school. I will defend my idea with three reasons in my essay.
Money gives special goals to students, and causes they try more. For example, when I was a high school student, I did not like the math lessons. One day my father told me if I take a high-grade in the mathematic course he would pay me one hundred dollars. I thought about that money, so all the time I studied hard. Fortunately, I passed my final exam with a high-grade.
Nowadays, all students want to earn money and hated learning. They strongly believe that money is more important than studying. Parents can offer money to children as a fee. My brother Ali from the beginning wants to work and earn money. Ali said to me: my life dream is just to buy a motorcycle. He escaped from school most of the time and went to a coffee for a part-time job. Moreover, his boss abuses him and paid a little money, for 8 clocks just my brother takes 40 dollars. My parent’s policy was offering money to him instead of getting high grades in school. Since this money was so more than the money that his boss paid him, he accepted. At the end of the year, he takes more grades in school. Furthermore, my brother bought a red motorcycle with that money. He kills two birds with one stone.
Finally, Students learn to gain everything, have to pay a fee. Nothing is without a fee. If they want money, they have to pay its costs, and this cost is taking an excellent grade during school. It causes them to become independent people and rely on themselves. The best way for learning this is to pay money by parents for every high grade.
According I have mentioned above, I think parents have to offer their school-age children money for each high mark they get in school. So, if you have children at your home that they go to school pay money and increase their goals.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 357, Rule ID: DT_JJ_NO_NOUN[1]
Message: Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
...ortunately, I passed my final exam with a high-grade. Nowadays, all students want to earn ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, furthermore, if, moreover, so, for example, i feel, i think

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 66.0 43.0788530466 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 52.1666666667 98% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 8.0752688172 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1873.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 421.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.44893111639 4.8611393121 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52971130743 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37223793527 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 212.727598566 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.479809976247 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 569.7 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 20.6003584229 146% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.5537927628 48.9658058833 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 62.4333333333 100.406767564 62% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.0333333333 20.6045352989 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.26666666667 5.45110844103 42% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.88709677419 246% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.452311297264 0.236089414692 192% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.119844395498 0.076458572812 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.124998958591 0.0737576698707 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.301999998937 0.150856017488 200% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.128608196824 0.0645574589148 199% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 6.5 11.7677419355 55% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 74.19 58.1214874552 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.94 10.9000537634 73% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.92 8.01818996416 86% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 86.8835125448 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.